Mope of Another God [1 Thory 4261]
Dustweed:"Sythyry? Is that you?"
Me:"No, it's some other blue feathered Zi Ri, intruding to steal my ... Sythyry's ... most personal secrets and terribly private eventualities."
Tethezai:"Well, a blue, spiky, tendrillous, featherless Zi Ri, which is why there might be some concern. Also you are so morose that ."
I peered at my wings, which had gone featherless. "Yrratple! Cloak of Another God is not good for enpluumiation!" Then a horrid thought manifested upon me, rather like an icicle of frozen sardine-and-peach gravy inserted into my erstwhile female member. "Featherless? Are my head-feathers gone, too?"
They were not, at least, though they were rather lopsidely thumped. And my spikes and tendrils were back. "Oh, my spare poptaloop-cooking Ruloc god, it washed the tincture off, and I've been all indecent and unstylish on the streets."
Dustweed:"Dangerous spell, that. Did you manage to get indecent in the way you were hoping?"
So I told them the story of winding up all-but-naked, tail up, on the floor. They laughed.
Tethezai:"With that kind of introduction, the morning ought to have gone well!"
"It didn't, though." I explained the woeful situation.
Tethezai:"Well, that's absolutely ridiculous of her." She started on a fierce polemic, asserting in incontrovertable tones and Sustenoc-reinforced with that:
- Everyone is innately transaffectionate in some degree.
- Everyone ought to explore and express their transaffectionate side.
- There is nothing in the slightest bit shameful about transaffection, despite all social conventions and oppobriums.
- Strenata has no business hiding behind some "lower-class
- Strenata isn't really lower-class exactly;
- There is no such thing as "lower-class virtue";
- Strenata has been leading me on for months now.
- She (Tethezai) would not tolerate such behavior from anyone she were involved with, even when the involvement were a mere social dating sort of thing;
- Rudeness is not a lower-class virtue.
- Rudeness is not a virtue at all.
- When she (Tethezai) was dating Breshka -- a Cani woman -- and Breshka started getting fussy about transaffection matters, She (Tethezai) put an end to it quickly. She explained her methods at considerable length. I might have been able to outline them, with points and subpoints and subsubpoints, but I got lost almost immediately. More specifically, I got annoyed almost immediately.
At which point, Dustweed sent Tethezai off to do her homework, and scooped me up, and sat me on the stove, and poured me a bit of brandy, and let me whinge at zir for a good two-thirds of an hour. Zie didn't even wince when I brushed against zir personal difficulties and sorrows.
I daresay I chose well to let zir be my roommate next month. Zie can comfort me through my next eighty-four unsuccessful attempts to find love, affection, and/or lust in Vheshrame.
And it's still not the least bit fair that the unattractive, genitally-malformed, birth-defected Dustweed has more sex than zie knows what to do with, and a reasonably elegant and entirely proper Zi Ri is still a virgin. Next party I might take the prostitute and her employers up on their hideous offer. Or maybe that's the brandy talking.