(Answer all the questions. So if you think the new commandment should be about travel, but having one about sex wins, you still get to vote for which sex commandment is imposed.)
It's time for a new Commandment!
Who shall the Commandment be considered to be from?
The collective supremacy of people answering this poll.
OK, why do we need a new Commandment?
The old ones got damaged
The old Commandments were too hard to handle
We got the old Commandments down pat and we're ready for the next stage
That's how the Commandment-giver says "I love you"
It corrects an actual problem we're having
Who has to obey the new Commandment?
The Chosen People of the Commandment-giver
Everyone *BUT* the Chosen People of the Commandment-giver
People born in months with an "R" in them
Everyone who hasn't purchased an exemption from the Suitable Authority
What penalty should be imposed on those who break it?
Personal feelings of guilt
Death, death, and more death
What domain should the Commandment concern?
If the Commandment is sexual, what should it be?
Thou shalt not mix the genders at any time; for mixing is an abomination.
Thou shalt not copulate with more people than thou hast erogenous zones
The only true marriage is between one person who has shaved their pubic region and one who has not.
Thou shalt speak of sexual acts with cutesey or rude names
Thou shalt not fornicate with people thou dost not currently love
Thou shalt use contraception unless thou art actively attempting to get children, and the contraception used shall be sufficient unto thy likely fertility
If the Commandment is about food, what shall it be?
Thou shall keep each cuisine pure unto itself, for mixing is an abomination.
Thou shalt eat thine vegetables, sufficient unto thy nutritional needs.
On holy days thou shalt take the flesh of cattle and grind it up and grill it, and serve it as sacred burgers with the glory of its suitable condiments.
Thou shalt not eat of mutant animals or plants.
Thou shalt have each year a peculiar dietary restriction based on scientific research taken to an extreme, and each year shall bring a new restriction to replace the previous one. (This year: gluten = evil)
If the Commandment is about violence, what shall it be?
Thou shalt not mix bullets and explosives, for mixing is an abomination
Thou shalt not perform any act of violence
Thou shalt not sing the popular songs of the day in public
If thou shootest at a legitimate target and unintentionally striketh a man with the ricochet, thou shalt be punished as if thou hadst shot the man intentionally.
Thou shalt bear arms
If the Commandment is about travel, what should it be?
For vacations thou shalt travel north or south; for labors thou shalt travel east or west; for mixing is an abomination
When travellers come from foreign lands into your country, thou shalt treat them as fools; but when thou travellest into a foreign land, thou shalt know yourself to be wise.
The packing of luggage shall be the task of the woman.
The carrying of luggage shall be the task of the man.
Other people shall not interrupt or restrain thee in thy travels, and if they do, thou shalt smite them quickly and hasten onward without delay.
If the Commandment is about mathematics, what should it be?
Thou shalt not use algebraic methods in geometry nor geometric methods in algebra; for mixing is an abomination
Thou shalt learn integral calculus, for the more integrals, the sacreder.
cos 0 shall be reckoned as 0 rather than 1, like unto sin 0; yet by the grace of the commandment-giver, tan 0 is also 0.
x shall always be a real number, and z always a complex number, and i and n always integers, and so shall it be in all the formulas of thy days
The square of the hypoteneuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides, and thou shalt abhor and stone any mathematical system in which this is not true.
How does that make you feel?