Which is the best way to think about it?
Bard cracked a tooth, is having it removed, and is getting an implant
Bard is turning into a cyborg with a partially-titanium skeleton
For a good time, call ...
555-1212 [actual number redacted]
Sexually Available Personages Я Us
Which of these is the greatest pleasure of those listed here?
Watching major motion pictures
Feeling the bones of your enemies crunch beneath your feet
Experiencing amateur artistic works by unknown artists
Sleeping in climate-controlled conditions
Devouring delicacies from all around the world
Which of these is the greatest sorrow (of those listed here, not of all
Breaking up with that person you date/boink once in a while
Toothache leading to extraction and low-grade cyborging
Missing the winning lottery ticket by one number
Watching tornadoes destroy a city half a continent away
Which of these is the most tempting sleazy 17th-century inn? (All taken from
a real table in a real RPG which Bard did not write)
The Gushing Bottom
The Angry Pedant
The Odious Trousers
The Engorged Beetle
The Sickening Belch
Which of these is not a real town?
The Dud of Flamister
The Candle of the Sneuk
The Wee Tuffer of Snough
The Tongue of Gangsta
The Point of the Sluther
Which of these should be a real place?
A despair-removal stand run by a cute anime angel
A find-your-true-love detective agency run by a cute anime catgirl
A negative-calorie cookie shop run by a cute anime fox-girl
A free electronic device shop run by a cute anime lightning alien girl
A cure-any-disease clinic run by a hideous anime tentacle monster
Where are you on this scale?
1 = Secure in the knowledge that your hair color conveys spiritual supremacy.
10 = Able to emit devastating energy blasts from your ears.
Mean: 4.19 Median: 3 Std. Dev 2.47
How scientific is a religion with "Science" in its name, such as
Scientology or Christian Science?
1 = not at all; 10 = totally.
Mean: 1.57 Median: 1 Std. Dev 0.73
How scientific is an academic discipline with "Science" in its name, such
as Computer Science, Food Science, or Social Science?
Mean: 5.64 Median: 6 Std. Dev 2.22
Which of these would make a better superhero?
The Orange Ocelot
The Stitcher in Time
The Living Torpedo
And which would be that superhero's nemesis?
The Mauve Manatee
The Fastest Food
The Eggbreaker (and sidekick Omelette)
If you were, speaking entirely hypothetically, going to secretly administer
anti-flatulence drugs to a coworker without their consent or knowledge, you
Put them in coffee
"Accidentally" stumble against the coworker while holding them in a
charged hypodermic needle
"Accidentally" administer nitrous oxide to the coworker and implant a
six-month time delay drug capsule
"Accidentally" seduce coworker with offers of anal sex, but instead of
a normal phallus or analog, use a syringe of specially engineered odorless bacteria
"Accidentally" hypnotize company president, have him order coworker to
take the damn anti-gas pills already.