Another bitterly political poll!
Which of the following attributes of Paul Snordnark (who is the Vultucratic candidate for the U.S. presidency in 2079 A.D., for those of you who are not following the news — or rather, for those of you who are not preceding the news by some decades) do you find the most repugnant?
His constant misquoting of Hemingway
His presumed erotic attachment to that ... that ... person.
His habit of punching reporters in the face
His attempted bombing of the World Trade Center
His eight slimy tentacles
Fact awareness check: When Paul Snordnark attempted to bomb the World Trade Center, which of the following methods did he use?
Roach bombs, when he was co-president of Snordnorkin Roach Control
Leaflet bombs when he flew a hot-air balloon over it
Comedy bomb when his college improv comedy troupe did their crappiest show ever there
Which plank of Snordnark's campaign do you find the most repugnant?
Voting rights for seven-year-olds
Legalization of human/robot marriages
Removal of barbed wire barriers around apartment buildings
Outlawing time travel
Criminal action against people who fart in crowded places
Still, Snordnark does have his decent side. Which of these proposals do you admire the most?
Free kittens for all 7-year-olds
Research program in foetal cyborging
Free candy giveaways at apartment buildings
Travelling to the distant past to poll our ancestors
Legalization of activated-charcoal anal inserts.
For which of these reasons will you not vote for Snordnark?
His vile policy positions
Fury at his peurile attempt to bribe me
I am 7 years old and do not yet have the vote
My apartment house is surrounded by barbed wire and I am not legally allowed to leave
The electric shock that my medico-political implants will administer to me if I do
Are you a good citizen?
Be kept behind barbed wire in skuzzy apartment buildings where they cannot interfere with the voting and other activities of good citizens
Be fully reprogrammed
Be used as reserve food supplies
Be used as primary food supplies
Be easily identifiable by their voting for Snordnark