Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Nexterie on Ixange 8.5: My «Language» Job

I sought work among the Help Wanted listings.

Bizgorn’s Inexorable Translation Service wanted translators proficient in B̉u̗ņp̬h̼i̮d̀ȧs̽h̙, Durpsimaan, He⊻ex, Lor-he-Lor, Dvintogrash, and archaic Phungimen.

“Hello!” I told Bizgorn. (Bizgorn was a fox, rather like the Fulk-fulks who so confounded me in the waiting room of Drullguur. He wore a tremendous purple hat, a vaporous purple kirtle, and spiral-toed purple slippers.) “I am proficient in B̉u̗ņp̬h̼i̮d̀ȧs̽h̙, Durpsimaan, He⊻ex, Lor-he-Lor, Dvintogrash, and archaic Phungimen!”

“Really. All of them,” said Bizgorn. “We’ll soon test that. L̖ōr͆h̳ȏn̾k̦ doopsi h∀l shev-ha pvoin chamanoides?”

“It means, ‘What the flaming flappers does this mean?’, with the first word in B̉u̗ņp̬h̼i̮d̀ȧs̽h̙, the second in Durpsimaan, and so on. And most people would say h∃l∃, not h∀l, which is in the numinous case.”

“Huh. So they would,” said Bizgorn, rubbing his cheek against a stone pillar in his office. “And how did you happen to become proficient in B̉u̗ņp̬h̼i̮d̀ȧs̽h̙, Durpsimaan, He⊻ex, Lor-he-Lor, Dvintogrash, and archaic Phungimen?”

“I have the sigil of «Language»!” I said proudly, showing off my wings.

“H’m. I have never seen that before,” said the shedu. “So you are, in fact, proficient in any language?”

“I am!” I said proudly. “When shall I start?”

“After a few minor formalities and legalities. Where are you bonded?” he asked.

“Bonded?” I asked.

“Bonded. D͇ùm̩r̰a̤k̆-s̠m̾a͕. Ispi-mispi. R∃lonn. Dau-morog her-ru.” He frowned. “I don’t know how to say it in Dvintogrash, and archaic Phungimen probably does not have the concept at all.”

I consulted «Language». “Lest’ dvamslau, in Dvintogrash, and tersiauolsos in archaic Phungimen.”

He nodded. “Tersiauolsos. Tersiono plus assaiu plus the chimerative ending. Of course. Where are you bonded?”

”... I’m not.”

“That is quite unfortunate. Translators throughout Ixange must be bonded. The profession requires guarantees that you will not reveal clients’ secrets, or perform other inglorious deeds with the documents you translate. I am not entirely sure what inglorious deeds can be performed when translating the Two Thousand and Eleven Tedious Epics from archaic Phungimen into modern R∃lonn, but the law is the law. I cannot hire anyone who is not bonded.”

Which would require me to put a large amount of money into a conceptual box as a hostage for my good behavior. If I had a large amount of money, I would not need a job.

So I cannot get a grand sorcerous job with «Language» on Ixange. But I also have mighty «Cuisine»!

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