Ties! Some of the contestants were wearing ties, so there were neither winners nor losers in those contests! So, both contestants go on to the next round, as is the ordinary way for bracket contests — or it should be, despite being somewhat antithetical to the spirit of brackets.
Still, we have victories. The Theory of Evolution gobbled far more wasabi than the Macarena! X-Rays sped past toothpaste at a typing test! A kitten barely beat icecream at a novelism contest!
Which of these would do better at an encounter with Life That Is Not As We Know It?
Which of these would win a hoedown showdown?
Which of these would win an ice-cream taste testing apocalypse?
Which of these is more macho?