My translator, in response to some recent events, showed
I must therefore describe the recent events in a handful of polls.
Which of these is the rudest thing to say to a runaway bride, viz. a woman who
nearly got married and changed her mind at the last minute?
"Your intended was a vile flumberjay, and only a demented dunce could
find them appealing for half a moment"
"Excellent! That saves me the expense of buying presents for your
wedding today and for your divorce tomorrow!"
"You will find someone else, just as your intended already has. What,
you were unaware?"
"At long last, has your brain reasserted its occasional dominance
over your vulva?"
"Let us copulate upon yonder end table, that I may drive the
distasteful memories of the event quite out of your vapid little
When one's fiancée deserts one a mere two days before the wedding, what
should one never, ever call her when one confronts her in front of her family?
A wicked deciever
An unskilled prostitute
A foreign twitch-wit
A prospective murder victim
An ill-dressed pustule
When one is clapped in prison due to the insidious activities of one's
ex-fiancée and her alarmed family, what assistance should one never,
ever ask from one's employer the expert chef with much political influence?
To bake a cake containing escape tools
To twist the tails of magistrates
To spread mass nausea as a distraction
To hire Khtsoyis to pummel one's non-father-in-law
When one is released both from prison and employment, what is the worst
possible situation to confront one's former employer with a sword in one hand and a
poisoned dagger in the other?
In the presence of her spouse's whatever-zie-is, the wizard
In the presence of the nendrai
In the presence of the secretary of the chief magistrate of
When one has lapped up seven tots of whiskey for additional
When one has disposed of one's trousers in the interest of efficiency
After such events, how should one not phrase one's apology to one's former employer?
"I accept your implicit apology"
"I can't see why you are angry"
"You don't have the guts to take me to court!"
"Accept this urination upon your feet as a token of my esteem."
After all of this, how should one regard the series of events
A triumph of courage!
A triumph of independence!
A triumph of wit!
A triumph of luck!
A triumph of insousiance!