On account of it being the Fourth of July and all, a quiz!
How do you feel about the discovery of the Higgs boson?
Great, but I wish they hadn't destroyed the world finding it.
My Higgs boson! Those scoundrels at CERN stole it!
What I really want is a Higgs Bozo
Isn't that the Anti-Life Equation or something?
I'm not quite comfortable with that four-lepton channel yet.
How would you do things differently if you were the Higgs boson?
I'd couple to photons and give them mass
I'd be a freaking Fermion.
I'd officially rename myself the 'Super-de-Duper God Particle'
I'd hang out in nondisclosed locations and be a whole lot harder to find
I would issue a much cooler set of Ten Commandments.
If the Higgs Boson is really the God Particle, which god is it the particle of?
Gaia, on account of it gives things mass
Thor, on account of impressive booms
Holy Ghost, on account of being so elusive
Wee Jas, on account of stupid name
Chickpeas, on account of it's not actually a god
If the Higgs Boson is actually the Godot particle,
what are the Vladimir and Estragon particles?
The Higgs Boson could improve its public image by
Wearing nicer clothes
Being a guest on daytime talk radio
Becoming as large and visible as the Moon
Reducing taxes on tau neutrinos
A heartfelt public apology
The next thing CERN should search for is:
The Devil Particle
A really good Key Lime Pie recipe