Mirrored from Sythyry.
“Our analysis produces the facts,” said Verhump. “Bluelark is an optime, of the eighth generation, and a person whom you can trust. Rainboat is a glate, born for the first time not many decades ago, of the hundred-and-thirtieth generation; a person of wicked and criminal tendencies, and surely headed for gaol and an early grave.” Yylhauntra had insisted on addressing the Legeriat of Draffmoug immediately afterwards, and a dozen bored legeriators and several dozen even more bored functionaries lounged about, trying to pretend to pay attention to zir.
“Interesting, interesting,” said Yylhauntra. “Is there any question or uncertainty about this diagnosis?”
“There is not,” said Verhump. “If you believe yourself to have contrary evidence, you must examine the contrary evidence for flaws and failure. The methods of the Vepri are perfect.”
“Grandchildren, it is now time to explain the situation,” said Yylhauntra to “Bluelark” and “Rainboat”.
“With pleasure, honored grandparent!” we said, and broke a pair of Cloaks of Another God. “Rainboat” was Sazandigraa, and “Bluelark”, of course, was me. The sudden crack of intense Destroc Magiador, the sharp taste of spells breaking, and the surprising appearance of three Zi Ri on the podium, woke up a great many legeriators and functionaries. Even the Duke came out of his closet to see us.
I spread my wings (yay, wings) and levitated, rampant, above Verhump. “I am Sythyry: a Zi Ri wizard, grandchild of Glikkonen and Verehinga, and of Myrihaaveinen and of Tnirvakuovvka who was the child of lost Caathestaa and of the great Yylhauntra who is here before you. My full geneology is well-known and carefully attested in many living memories, even to the firstmost of days. And there is never a doubt about Zi Ri parentage. This is Sazandigraa, whose grandparents and great-grandparents are the same as mine, though through different couplings. Geneologically speaking, we are pretty much the same person. We are both of the third generation of Zi Ri measured the short way around, or the fourth the long way around.
“Yet, somehow, the infallable methods of Verhump herself have perfectly and infallibly placed me in the ninth generation. I don’t even think there are any ninth generation Zi Ri. And, even more remarkably, they identified Sazandigraa — third-generation Sazandigraa — as hundred-and-thirtieth. They could hardly be more wrong, save by an excursion into the hideous realm of complex numbers!
“And furthermore! I am a wizard, an expert in enchantment, granted my title by Glikkonen zirself. I have inspected Verhump’s ‘Chair of Spiritual Origination’ in detail, watching it as it operated. It is in no way a device to reach into the past to determine one’s generation of origin. It determines one’s spiritual purpleness, and how much of one’s spirit is actually flesh or plant material. Rather different, rather unlike what the Vepri methods call for!
“I hereby proclaim the utter vacuity of the Vepri. The so-called science and theology is utter nonsense, incapable of distinguishing one end of time from another. The philosophy is based on the vapors of clouds and Khtsoyis-farts, and is pernicious and worse than useless. And any political system based on it is surely based on a rotten, stinking worse-than-nothing.”
And I sat down next to Saza and Yylhauntra, bristling with a Holocaust-war’s worth of magical defenses. I had some sense of how popular that speech was going to be, right in the heart of the Vepri. The audience stirred and muttered, clearly expecting some sort of excitement.