A Day of One Zi Ri, Two Orren, and Three Lists[6 Trandary 2461]
Spirshash was duly tracked down by means of nipping the tails of two hundred and eighty-six mutual friends. (Or, more precisely, five, counting Real-Eel, and Vingi who had no great chance to know where Spirshash was.) Oostmarine and Tillissa had both divorced him, for, according to him, a great number of reasons, including:
- Supporting Oostmarine. (T)
- Supporting Tillissa. (O)
- Making everyone think he was having an affair with me. (both)
- Refusing to attend the funeral of Tillissa's great-aunt last year. (T)
- Stewing buskies with green apples rather than prens, despite many -- which is to say, one -- complaint. (O)
- Using too much cumin. Still. (T)
- Something incomprehensible concerning gloves. (T)
- Not tossing Oostmarine into a large pot of boiling alligators (T).
- Stealing a very nice hat. I think was a hat stolen from Oostmarine, not the one he destroyed by mistake. Spirshash is not a gentleman when it comes to hats. (O)
- Not paying two shares of the rent, or, perhaps, three. (T)
- Not keeping various rumors from being rumored (O,T)
In any case, he is staying for a time with Leiska, and hopes to find a worthwhile place to live, preferably without being married to anyone living there. This leaves me a bit of an interesting question. I plan to rent a whole house. I do not plan to use a whole house by myself. I could invite Spirshash... I could also, in principle, write a letter to Accanax and invite him to send me a nendrai and a brace of ghurmanesh.
(For all monsters: that is metaphorical. Even my very famous great-grandparent is not personally friendly with Accanax. I do not know if zie has met him in person at all, even.)
Walking with Strenata
Strenata was waiting for me when I got home, wearing her green tube dress sort of a thing, a good hour before we had planned to go out walking. This, of course, was awkward in its own way. I had intended to finish the reading for tomorrow before she got there. Still, it was obviously an apology for yesterday's insults.
In Ghaln-Yastrou Park there are many imported and exotic trees. Today the felonway trees were blooming. For those of you who don't know, the blossoms of felonway trees are brilliant yellow or orange, fluffy round things the size of Strenata's head, and scented with a perfume that makes your nose feel seven times as large as it is. However, if you put your nose up close and sniff the blossom closely, the tree creates a quarter-ounce of nectar. In your nose.
Strenata sniffed first. Now, getting a quarter-ounce of liquid up your nose is no great matter if you are an Orren. She didn't even have to change into water form.
Still, the effort of not changing delayed her for a second, and I sniffed during that second. And it's a somewhat dramatic thing to get a quarter-ounce of liquid up your nose if you are a Zi Ri. (I suppose that it's like getting an ounce and a half of liquid up your nose if you are Rassimel.)
I am, certainly, a gentleman, full of all etiquette and manners, passably well versed in the common and rarefied modes of good behavior. I comport myself with dignity under all circumstances. Anyone can tell from a quick glance at me or a moment's conversation that I am a noble, and properly so. With these guiding principles firmly in mind:
- I choked.
- I writhed around in midair.
- I tangled my left wing in the felonway tree's hanging tendrilsome leaves.
- I thrashed around, getting more tangled.
- I breathed fire, which, since my nose was full of nectar, produced a cloud of brown caramelized steam.
- I felt a pair of hands grabbing for me.
- I responded to the grab with claws and flame.
When I ceased to thuswise act like a
Pazi-Pazi gentleman, I discovered that I had:
- Gotten spots of brown caramel color on Strenata's good green tube thing.
- Clawed Strenata's hand to the point of drawing blood.
- Set the Duke's felonway tree on fire.
A total of five leaves, two dangerous and evil and wicked blossoms, and two twigs were consumed before the Vheshrame Fire Brigade (Volunteer Auxiliary Division) were able to put it out. It would have been less, except that half of the Vheshrame Fire Brigade (Volunteer Auxiliary Division) asserted in a loud proud voice that zie had a newly-made water creation amulet for just such occasions as this, having forgotten that zie used it for a bath that morning, and, upon discovering that, the other half of the Vheshrame Fire Brigade (Volunteer Auxiliary Division) was too deep in her giggles to do much to the fire.
After the tree was out, I hastened to evacuate Vnel Strenata away to the nearest pub, where I arranged for Zouville de Mrood to be poured into her at such length and volume as to erase all remaining fires (emotional as well as physical) from the damage to hand and dress. Actually only one glass was needed.
And a scrap of paper, upon which was written "Seeks-Wild-Rushes". I think I should be pleased at that.