Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: Midlife Crisis Poll


OK, I'm going to turn 50 in real life in a few months, and it's about time for a midlife
crisis. If I don't do it pretty soon, it'll stop being 'midlife'.



Job Crisis: When I quit my job as a research computer scientist at IBM, I should start a new career as:

A research computer scientist at Pepsi
3(7.5%)
A rodeo scientist
7(17.5%)
A second-rate creative chef
7(17.5%)
A singer of corrosive ballads and jingles
10(25.0%)
A third-rate science fantasy author
6(15.0%)
An interpretive radiologist
7(17.5%)

Spiritual Crisis: I should dump my Pagan/Unitarian religious combo for:

Scientology
2(5.0%)
Biblically-based atheism
10(25.0%)
Reformed Church of Satan
5(12.5%)
The Gold Standard
12(30.0%)
The Molten Tabernacle Choir
11(27.5%)

Political Crisis: I should drop everything and go to work on the presidential campaign of:

Cthulhu (2012)
13(31.7%)
Darth Vader (2000)
7(17.1%)
Jimmy Carter (1976)
7(17.1%)
Michelle Bachmann (2012)
0(0.0%)
Michelle Obama (2012)
3(7.3%)
Newt Gingrich (2012)
0(0.0%)
Rick Santorum (2012)
0(0.0%)
Ron Paul (2012)
3(7.3%)
All of the above
8(19.5%)

Consumer-Goods Crisis: I should rush out and buy:

A red sports car
0(0.0%)
A ridiculously expensive vehicle that's eco-friendly -- with benefits
5(12.2%)
A moonshine distillery
8(19.5%)
All The Lincoln Logs
10(24.4%)
An old-style printing press
11(26.8%)
A portable Olympic swimming pool
1(2.4%)
A supercomputer
6(14.6%)

Relationship Crisis: I should

Have a heterosexual affair
3(7.3%)
Have a homosexual affair
3(7.3%)
Obsessively pursue Jane Fonda
3(7.3%)
Sire Ella Fitzgerald's next love child
2(4.9%)
Have several tawdry encounters with the Republican presidential candidate, and reveal them a week before the election
23(56.1%)
Take vows of celibacy, celerity, and celery.
7(17.1%)

Body-Modification Crisis: I should:

Get radically neutered
4(9.5%)
Graft on wings
11(26.2%)
Graft on a tail
9(21.4%)
Get whole-body scale tattoos
10(23.8%)
Graft on two extra heads
8(19.0%)

Death Crisis: I should commit suicide by:

Self-immolation in protest of something or other
1(2.6%)
Eating too much cheese
16(41.0%)
Ebola infection
3(7.7%)
Meat grinder
2(5.1%)
Leaping off the top of the World Trade Center
8(20.5%)
Radioactive niobium
9(23.1%)

Diet Crisis: I should lose weight by:

Dark Matter Only Diet
23(56.1%)
South Park Diet
6(14.6%)
Separate-Your-Nutrients Diet
8(19.5%)
Dr. Atkin's New All-Fat Diet
4(9.8%)
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