Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Those Who Take Tofyofs [15 Nivvem 4385]

Mirrored from Sythyry.


Phaniet will take both Este and Mellilot as tofyofs. It is hardly surprising that she is taking Este as a tofyof. The two of them have wanted to have a more formal and legal marriage for years. This is the closest version that they have come up with. Since Phaniet is distinctly higher-status than Este, it even fits the official scheme of tofitude.

It is surprising that Phaniet is taking Mellilot as well. The rest of us had been under the impressions that (a) Phaniet and Este were amusing themselves with Mellilot more or less equally, and (b) it was simply a matter of amusement, nothing more. (a) may still be true — while it is, technically, illegal for Este and Mellilot to indulge themselves carnally with each other (or rather, it will be after the tofitude), I suspect that the enforcement of such laws is rather scanty. I suspect, in fact, that the authorities will not learn about violations of the law, unless someone considers themselves to be forced into it.

(b) certainly surprised us. By “us” I mean Arfaen, who was Mellilot’s girlfriend for years, and, me, who is Phaniet’s boss and frequent co-conspirator. I was not involved in this conspiracy! I am not, ultimately, all that worried about the details. Arfaen is quite distraught, and I have spent two natural and twenty-eight constructed hours in the last few days trying to reconcile her to her fate — Arfaen to Mellilot’s fate, of course. Mellilot is already reconciled. Mellilot, in fact, seems eager.

Yerenthax and Jyondre

Yerenthax will take Jyondre as a tofyof.

In some ways, this is not nearly as surprising. The two of them are thoroughly devoted to each other.

In other ways, the details are quite surprising. Since this was a domestic dispute, they settled it in the traditional heterosexual way. (That’s heterosexual Gormoror way.)

Part 1: Neither one of them really wants to be the tofyof of the other. Both of them volunteered, because such is the depth and perfection of their love that they were both willing to.

Part 2: They agreed that the proper way to resolve the issue of who was to be whose tofyof was to fight a duel with natural weapons in the great and traditional Gormoror tradition of greatness.

Part 3: They had a huge argument about whether knives were suitable dueling weapons, or whether the only proper duel was claws and teeth. Jyondre, as befits the Gormoror man which he is not, argued that claws and teeth were the only dignified weapon for domestic disputes. Yerenthax, whose grasp of tactics and battle-wisdom is far greater than Jyondre’s, noted that Jyondre’s claws and teeth were relatively tiny things, even compared to hers, and both should use knives. Jyondre, in the great Gormoror tradition, lovingly broke a stoneware plate over Yerenthax’s head. So they agreed that it would be claws and teeth.

Part 4: Jyondre snuck into my bedroom and stole a Cloak of Another God cloak. At the actual duel, Jyondre was a brown and brawny Gormoror boy — even calling himself Jyonderex. Yerenthax was giggling so hard that Jyonderex nearly took off her ear in a mighty smash.

Then, of course, she demolished him with brutal skills and vicious clawsomeness, and became the keeper-to-be.

*-Eyes and Dorze

And now, finally, we have official confirmation that Dorze and Temple-Eyes are involved! Temple-Eyes is taking Dorze as a tofyof. This is, as far as I understand, the utterly traditional and correct use of the institution: a same-species married person picking up a bit on the side in a legal way.

Except of course Lithia, Temple-Eyes’s wife, is not really an Orren; she’s a shifter hybrid. And, from all I hear (which is very little), she’s involved with Dorze as well.

If anyone gives them any difficulty, I shall respond with undue and surprising violence.

Arkathia and Frippin

On the whole our students are not particularly taking advantages of the tofyof concept. They are mostly arranged in convenient groupings already. Or, if they are like students when I was that age, they are arranged in groupings they consider convenient today, but will mostly change them around within a few months.

Still, Arkathia is taking Frippin as a tofyof. I do not particularly know them, and they are the same species, but I will congratulate them and generally wish them well at the big tofyoffing party we’re going to have.

Molazasrie and Arkathia

And, in our Important Task of the Infliction of Perversion upon the Innocent Students of Barency, Molazasrie (Rassimel) is going to take Arkathia (Orren) as a tofyof.

Inconnu: “I have converted Molazasrie! I have introduced her to the utter delight that is an eager Orren lover, and she must have one all of her own!”

Prince Rastomil: “While I would not dispute the delights of your brown-furred squirmy embraces, I fear that I must dispute the conversion. Molazasrie was, after all, sent out from Tauvane in disgrace. A topic that we have discussed at great length.”

Hrone: “If my nose does not deceive me, the “great length” you have discussed it at was probably about six inches or so, and you didn’t wash off afterwards.”

Prince Rastomil: “Well, the “great length” started off at about fifteen inches — vertical — of vodka in the bottle. That diminished to zero, and, somehow, further events occurred that might not decrease anyone’s disgrace.”

Inconnu: “Oh, you princer, you! You needed to get her drunk to get her in bed. Not so the Orren! She was more than happy to revel with me, quite sober.”

Hrone: “Inconnu, I do wish you wouldn’t be so careless spouting your stories around. Molazasrie might be in trouble already, but I know for a fact two of your other lovers need to keep your games very secret.”

Inconnu: “I am the very serpent of discretion where it counts!”

Not Hops and Tingula

Hops will not take Tingula as a tofyof, nor vice-versa.

Hops: “I love Tingula. I am not taking her as a concubine or play-toy-girl. Taking her as a tofyof is just reinforcing the popular stereotype that traff-folk are really in it for the kinky sex. Well, I’m in it for love, real solid permanent love, and if I don’t get to marry her in a way that says that, it’s just wrong. I don’t want a teaspoon of it’s-not-right-but-it’s-what-you-get. I want to do it right!”

Phaniet: “I want what I can get. This is more than anywhere else. And I had to work a bit to even get what I wanted — unmarried Cani confuse the system beyond measure.”

Hops: “You are simply kow-towing to a corrupt system devoted to crushing you under its heel. Why the grash-hog you and Sythyry don’t go start a new city-state on a nice clean branch, I do not know.”

Phaniet: “Can you imagine what a city-state that Sythyry set up would be like? Zie’s good at some things, but zie’d run the government like zie runs this ship.”

Me: “Hypothetically, I wouldn’t have to run the goverment.”

Phaniet: “And the city would be a total doom magnet.”

Me: “Oh. Right.”

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