Mirrored from Sythyry.
The angry god who had just broken Strayway’s front door was clearly Thefefy. She had the form of a tallish and chubby Elfimel made from quartz, silver, and gold; flames moved in her eyes, and smoke poured from her tail. She wore a mighty iron helm worked with the shapes of nine-knobbed rings, with a pair of vast horns towering three feet over her head. She bore a pair of naked and very sharp swords in her hands, and had just chopped a big hole in one of Strayway’s front doors with them.
Me: [From a distance, in Common] “Hallo? Why did you do that to my front door?”
I suppose I should explain ‘from a distance’. We were in a parlor about a mile and a half from that front door — we being Vae, myself, hCevian, Feralan, and a somewhat changeable cast of others, depending on who felt like watching the explorers, and who felt like having a few bits of intoxicating petal. Some of our lesser defenses pay attention to potentially unwanted and dangerous visitors, such as deities damaging doors. Other devices, slightly over-stretched, let the pilot on duty (me, at the moment) speak and listen anywhere in the ship.
Thefefy: “Offworlders! Aliens! Spreader of heterodoxy and corruptative ideas, such as bring misery to the Elfimel! Massacrers! Ignominious monsters who revel in death and the sap of the innocent upon your spikes! You must depart instantly!”
Me: “We intend no woe or unhappiness to anyone here.”
Thefefy: “Why did hCevian come, that wicked spike-bearing beast who has several times killed all who live in Heaven?”
Me: “He was showing us your world. He hasn’t hurt anyone this time ’round, has he?”
Thefefy: “In ancient cycles he hurt all the Elfimel in Heaven!”
Me: “Well, we’ve sort of surgically modified him, given him some sympathy for other beings you know. This time he seems content to sit here on a child’s head, like a particularly pointy sort of hat, and observe as my friends explore and enjoy Heaven.”
Thefefy: “What did you do that for?”
Me: “It’s a rather complicated story. If you’d like to hear it, put your weapons aside, come in, have some brandy, and we will discuss the matter in a civilized fashion.”
Thefefy: “Well … for a few minutes.” She sounded interested; being a god in Heaven sounds rather tedious. She probably can’t even participate in the anonymous sex that all the Elfimel consider their proper due in the universe; she’s made of stone and metal, and would be instantly recognized. “But then I must send you off, or kill you all, whichever is most convenient.”
She didn’t explain convenient for who, exactly, but I suspect that such questions are best left unasked.
So, we met Thefefy in one of the parlors by the broken door. She is far and away the least intimidating god I have met. (I continue to be uncertain if I have met any gods or not. If I have, I met Accanax, who is quite intimidating. If not, my statement is vacuously true.) She is still a god, though, and in her place of power at that, she wasn’t not imposing. But she seemed more of a mighty creature, a Vae or an Oixe, rather than a cosmic Power like Accanax.
Not that entertaining an angry mighty creature in my parlor was particularly comforting. I was glad I had spare parlors around.
Thefefy: “hCevian. You are back.”
hCevian: “I am back, and with mighty, mighty friends!”
Me: “Yes, but friends who do not greatly wish to kill a god to-day.”
hCevian: “Oh! Sythyry! Are you angry with me?”
Feralan: “I think zie is. Look at how zir tailtip is twitching back and forth. Look at how zir wings are slightly spread apart. Zir claws are kind of digging into the couch. Doesn’t that mean you’re angry, Sythyry?”
Me: “I am, somewhat.”
Feralan opened a notebook and wrote that down, on a page titled ANGRY. Rassimel scare me, if they can take notes on psychology in the presence of an irritated-looking god and verifiedly-angry wizard.
Thefefy: “hCevian. You know you cannot endure the striking of my swords, each blow of which is harder than the previous one, and which, once they have found their mark, cannot miss it again.”
hCevian: “I can run away from you!”
Thefefy: “hCevian. You know that you cannot escape me within Heaven, for, when I run, each step is longer than the previous one. Heaven is only so big; no matter were you teleport or how fast, eventually I will catch you.”
hCevian: “Oh … you’re angry too, aren’t you?”
Me: “hCevian has been infected with empathy and perhaps even compassion. He is not used to this, and does not know how to endure it.”
Thefefy: “Yes, I am angry. But not at you.”
hCevian: “At who? “
Thefefy: “The gods and the natives of the World Tree. For the World Tree is where the action is. Heaven is all but ignored, all but forgotten!”
Me: “That’s quite too bad! What happened?”
An assault of sympathy works well on Vae; I hoped it would be just as potent against Thefefy. Which it was, sort of. She complained for some third of an hour about how Mircannis and Lenhirrik had brought her here as the main elemental of a new world, only it was a smaller world than she deserved, and that the other gods were never much interested in it after it was set up. But since she (Thefefy) is an elemental god, she is physically unable to leave. So she has stayed — despite, I think, her preferring not to. Heaven is not a very good or interesting place for a god, even an elemental one.
As Thefefy talked, people drifted in and out, to see the god, or to escape the god, I suppose. I wasn’t paying much attention to precisely who was doing what, though I should have been.
At length, sympathy ran out, and Thefefy gave her ultimatum.
Thefefy: “I do not like your worldship. It is full of Locador; it is bigger inside than Heaven.”
Me: “The design was convenient at the time. We were, in any case, unaware of the stylistic requirements of Heaven. Indeed, we were unaware of the existence of Heaven at all.”
Thefefy: “All the more cause for you to leave, leave, and leave, very quickly.”
Me: “When we can.”
Thefefy: “You can do so now. Do so.”
Me: “Many crewmembers are off exploring Heaven.”
Thefefy: “Three doesn’t count as many to me.”
Me: “Rather more than three, and in any case we will not leave even a single one behind.”
Thefefy: “I will send them along after you.” She brandished a sword. “They will catch up with you in your home world’s garden of resurrection.”
Me: “We haven’t one.”
Thefefy: “I can’t believe that that little chit Mircannis would forget a garden of resurrection for her big collaborative project!”
Me: “Reincarnation is a fact, but after a great delay, and with a complete loss of memory. Killing someone does them a terrible injury. Please give us time to collect our crew…”
At which point Inconnu leapt at Thefefy. He had been raiding my equipment chest; he had a blazing broadsword, a shining shield, and two terrible talismans. He yelled “Twitchy fishy bitch goddess! Leave us alone to do our own things in our own time!”
Me: “Inconnu, please don’t do that…”
Vae: “The excellent work, Inconnu!”
And, so saying, Vae helpfully vanished. This was particularly helpful, as she was the only one of us who had any chance of fighting Thefefy effectively. Inconnu certainly didn’t. He demonstrated this by whacking Thefefy in the midriff with the blazing broadsword, which did not make the slightest impression upon her.