Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

Strategy and Tactics of Restaurant Visits [11 Thory 4385; Eigrach, Srineia]

Originally published at Sythyry. Please leave any comments there.

Grinwipey:“Boss, why the dashitzie are you going to that kinda
place?”
Grinwipey was clearly rather distressed: he twisted a needle
in two tentacles, and was speaking comprehensibly.

Me:“It’s just a restaurant, Grinwipey.”

Grinwipey:“Yeah, it’s just a restaurant. So far you got shot up
with arrows, stabbed up with swords, strangled up with seneschals, and … “

Este:“Knocked up with wood-mages.”

Me:“This one’s a regular and even legitimate restaurant. It’s
even in the guide books.”

Grinwipey:“It’s a frimpin’ pit o’death, feathergirl. It’s a
smicker-felking pit o’death, and you’re going there to tumble down and get
your wheenwhacking twef laminated and frimped with a glaive-guisarme. I
wouldn’t be caught dead going in to a place like that, ’cause I’d be
frimpin’ caught dead comin’ out.”

Me:“You wouldn’t be caught dead going into a place like that
because you can’t taste very acutely.”

Phaniet:“How about we all turn into Cani, so we can taste
better?”

Windigar:“Easy for you to say! You’re already Cani.”

Este:“I do not feel very good about that. I know how you
feel about Cani lovers. Are you trying to break up with me after all
these years?”

Phaniet:“I’m just trying to make sure that I don’t spoil this
very formal and very expensive dinner by being overcome with lust for your
delectable Rassimel body and pounce your bones right there in the
restaurant. You are my love now and always, Este.”

Grinwipey:“That does it.” He crammed his hat on his head and
drifted furiously towards the door.

I flew after him. “Grinwipey? What?”

Grinwipey:“I am getting all whodded and chafed with all this
traff kissing around and turning into Cani and nobody with the choons to
listen when I tells them not to go stuff some lorching poisoned
mushrooms
up their wordges! I’m gonna go find a frimpin’ rent-a-shoggy
for some frimpin’ frimping and let the rest of you blunkwads go
sporridge up your tchuppers all you like!”

Me:“Go then.” Some of my crew I will try to cheer up or some
such. Grinwipey can take care of himself, physically and emotionally, and
when he’s upset enough to insult traff-folk around me, I’m not the one to
cheer him up anyhow.

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