Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

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The Useful Advice from Home

After four more slices of Nihondras Day Cake, thanks to Floooosh in the Bakery of Transcendent Doom -- that's not precisely what the sign says, but after the poptaloops and the cake I know it to be true -- I think I shall vow never to have Nihondras Day Cake again.

My ~mother~'s letter expresses some limited pleasure that I am finally taking Enchantment, and demands with considerable force that I take three or preferably four classes in applied magic next term. If I take four, she will arrange my allowance through the Bank of Teleporting Hexagons rather than through Hezimikkinen. Banks are very mild-tempered, compared with siblings; I daresay whatever qualms they do have (on any sort of topic) are easily satisfied by a few lozens.

I suppose that the only thing worse than being bribed is not being worth bribing.

I obviously can't take four courses in practical magic; I have only so many cley. Second-term enchantment is clear enough, and not nearly as tedious as it sounds even if I will have to get to the workshop by dawn every day for a month or two. Perhaps Illusidor would be fun. Magic Theory was mentioned by name in ~mother~'s letter. I wonder if a Historical Survey of Magic would count? Or a course in Notable Magical Catastrophes?

Also zie blessed me with zir advice on Dubaille and Lady Quissenden. She recommends that I cultivate all noble contacts, as an assistance to Hezimikkinen if nothing else. (Not my favorite task, especially in this case; I count this as another strong argument in favor of taking the bribe.) Zie recommends that I supply the replacement teapot. Zie recommends that I befriend the children, on the grounds that (1) they are easily influenced in such a time of distress, and (2) will eventually be in a position to do favors, even if the parents are wholly useless and unpleasant.

Zie has clearly decided that I am going to become a spare Hezimikkinen, mighty in magic and politics by the time I am three hundred. (As I understand the history, Hezimikkinen's single greatest advantage is the fact that zie is Glikkonen's first grandchild. I am the third, which is not much help.)

I suppose I should decide, once and for all, what I will do with myself for, well, forever. I expect I shall do this once a year whether I need it or not, just after I swear off Orren and Nihondras Day cake. Actually making that be part of my Nihondras Day celebrations will give me a good chance to remember it, if nothing else.

What should I do with myself, forever?

Live off of rich relatives, supplemented occasionally by extorting from the easily impressed by veiled hints of ancient Zi Ri magics.
Become a mighty wizard and spend my days constructing animated pornographic tapestries, with which to seduce Orren.
Open a restaurant whose theme is, of course, Properly Aged Foods.
Learn the superb mastery of spelunking; squirm deep into some secret cavern that only a Zi Ri could fit in; find a vast treasure of loose world-amber; thereby become rich and comfortable.
Perfect my Flirtatious Dance, and a great variety of related skills, and parley my current reputation into a profitable business as a highly-paid exotic prostitute.
Adventuring! Find some stout, insane companions and lurk off into the Verticals in search of treasure and monsters. Or, better yet, fly down six branches and help drive the monsters away and start a colony, of which I shall be Duke.
Learn the mystic secrets of baking from Flooooooosh. Open up a Bakery of Secret Zi Ri Secrets. Use some of the peculiar ideas about the ceremonial cakes from far-distant places that perlandria mentioned.
Sell books and prints to Rassimel for four thousand years, like my great-~uncle~.
Take courses for a few more years, and think about it when that gets boring.
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