Strategy and Tactics of Restaurant Visits [11 Thory 4385; Eigrach, Srineia]
Grinwipey:"Boss, why the dashitzie are you going to that kinda place?" Grinwipey was clearly rather distressed: he twisted a needle in two tentacles, and was speaking comprehensibly.
Me:"It's just a restaurant, Grinwipey."
Grinwipey:"Yeah, it's just a restaurant. So far you got shot up with arrows, stabbed up with swords, strangled up with seneschals, and ... "
Este:"Knocked up with wood-mages."
Me:"This one's a regular and even legitimate restaurant. It's even in the guide books."
Grinwipey:"It's a frimpin' pit o'death, feathergirl. It's a smicker-felking pit o'death, and you're going there to tumble down and get your wheenwhacking twef laminated and frimped with a glaive-guisarme. I wouldn't be caught dead going in to a place like that, 'cause I'd be frimpin' caught dead comin' out."
Me:"You wouldn't be caught dead going into a place like that because you can't taste very acutely."
Phaniet:"How about we all turn into Cani, so we can taste better?"
Windigar:"Easy for you to say! You're already Cani."
Este:"I do not feel very good about that. I know how you feel about Cani lovers. Are you trying to break up with me after all these years?"
Phaniet:"I'm just trying to make sure that I don't spoil this very formal and very expensive dinner by being overcome with lust for your delectable Rassimel body and pounce your bones right there in the restaurant. You are my love now and always, Este."
Grinwipey:"That does it." He crammed his hat on his head and drifted furiously towards the door.
I flew after him. "Grinwipey? What?"
Grinwipey:"I am getting all whodded and chafed with all this traff kissing around and turning into Cani and nobody with the choons to listen when I tells them not to go stuff some lorching poisoned mushrooms up their wordges! I'm gonna go find a frimpin' rent-a-shoggy for some frimpin' frimping and let the rest of you blunkwads go sporridge up your tchuppers all you like!"
Me:"Go then." Some of my crew I will try to cheer up or some such. Grinwipey can take care of himself, physically and emotionally, and when he's upset enough to insult traff-folk around me, I'm not the one to cheer him up anyhow.