The Etiquette of Primes [20 Hispis 4385]
Monsters may teleport in on each other unannounced, the way Shadatei just did. People do not. So, we landed Strayway by Eigrach's trunkward gate, and Kantele wrote a letter. It went something like this.
[Occasional status markers will be written to show that speech is in Srineian, or where they are relevant for the story. In most cases they will be omitted. -bb]
From the wizard Sythyry to the mayor and nobility of Eigrach, greetings. I-nob have arrived in Eigrach Mene some weeks earlier than I had expected. I should be grateful of an opportunity to present my credential as ambassador and enchanter at your convenience. With great respect, Sythyry.
I am technically an ambassador of Vheshrame. I am not the ambassador to Eigrach of course. I am the ambassador to Vae. Nor does Vheshrame have any real need of an embassy in Srineia. But there is no reason to be rude. So I have an official scroll from the Duke promising eternal friendship with Eigrach. Puffery through and through, of course -- I believe that Oorah Thrassen has a dozen such scrolls -- but a very polite sort of puffery.
So Kantele hired a porter to take the message to the mayoral mansion.
"What does Eigrach look like?" asked Lithia.
"It's all woven," said Kantele. "I've seen chairs and baskets like that, but never whole houses."
"It comes by the name 'Wicker City' honestly," said Jyondre.
"Well, they do quite impressive-looking things with it. Every house by the gate has two or three spires or onion-dome or a grand spiral balcony at the very least. Sometimes the onion domes are on sideways. There's one building that has got to be a brothel; I can't see any other excuse for the number and arrangement of sideways onion domes," said Kantele.
Jyondre grinned sadly. "Oh, that would be the Ord Bord. It's famous. My parents sent me there for three days once."
"Is that a usual sort of treat on Srineia?"
"Hardly that. They had found me with my first reciprocated crush, and they wanted to be sure that I would never have such a crush again. Some parents might have beaten me, and some might have scolded me. Mine were enlightened. They sent me to Ord Bord for three days with a purchase order for all the Orren I could screw, and hoped that the experience would teach me never to lust after Herethroy again."
Yerenthax chuckled. "And...?"
Jyondre grinned. "It worked! I have never lusted after Herethroy again. Now I devote myself wholly to Gormoror."
Yerenthax smirked. "Your parents will be happy, I take it?"
Jyondre shook his head. "I somehow doubt it."
Lithia raised her illusionarily-Orren head from Lost-Eyes' shoulder. "Will you win another trip to the brothel from it?"
Yerenthax declaimed, "From fearsome flirts, and fuck-for-fee / we both shall fly, my love and me!"
Lithia threw a pillow at her.