Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Kidnapped! [17 Hispis 4385]

Nangbang's Reply

Nangbang sent me his answer almost instantly:

Sythyry! You are a traitor of honor, you are a traitor of friendship, you are a traitor of the camaraderie of devotion to the god Accanax! May each of our feathers be devoured by a separate furious chub-beetle! Not only do you steal the attention of the dark god that was properly intended for a native wizard, but you have the utter unmitigated overbrewed tea to kidnap my daughter! Additionally, you are a spineless and amygdalate weasel of evasion and cowardice! In your obliquely-worded and pusillanimous missive, you take pains to gloat extensively of your capture of my defenseless daughter, but you miss the key feature of the etiquette of kidnappers everywhere! You have not named your price. Well, I can start the negotiations as well as you can. I offer seventeen thousand lozens and a promise not to seek immediate revenge. But this crime cannot go unpunished forever, you infamous squamous menace! -- Nangbang, who is not as powerless as you might think!

I am fairly sure he was Wild Rushing while he was writing this -- the letters are scribbled and frantic. Which is reasonable if he thinks I kidnapped his daughter, I suppose. Still, I hereby swear off Orren for life again ... none too impressive an oath, as I haven't so much as kissed one diligently in years.

Kzip's Reply

Kzip took only a moment longer, and took a rather different approach towards utterly misunderstanding my utterly clear letter:

Oh, that's all right. Dorze is a fine spell-scribe, but I can spare him for a while. Do I understand properly that you have some spell that you're planning to teach him and have him copy? If it's an interesting spell, and if you bring him back home in -- let us say -- two months, I can count the spell as the price of his subindenture. Let me know. Sorry (and, honestly, just a bit miffed) that you couldn't arrange this with me personally when you were in Oorah Thrassen. But I suppose that making arrangements with the Destroyer of All takes precedence. Anyhow,

I don't think she read more than a dozen words in my letter; she filled in the rest with what she would have done in my place.

The Next Step

What should I do next?

Write short clear notes to each of them.
Tell them to read the original notes slowly and carefully.
Play along -- collect ransom for the girl and give the boy his two months to escape.
Fly back to Oorah Thrassen (and mess up my travel plans) and return the stowaways in person.
Set the stowaways on a quest for the Mystic Tourmaline Of Flowers or something else dignified.
Let Kzip and Nangbang stew and/or calm down for a few days before answering.
Send Grinwipey back to explain the situation. With an enchanted mace.
Kill myself now to keep Accanax (or etc.) from being sufficiently amused by my antics.
Place curses of intestinal frenzy and knotifaction upon the stowaways for getting me into this.
Give up on all primes. Get a trained parrot or something.
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