Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

Dickering over the Price [14 Hispis 4385]

Grinwipey:"Well, all this theoretical philosopy of doorwaying is completely munger-banging fascinating and important, but you still haven't said how you're gonna pay the wizard for making those house calls 'n saving your lives."

Me:"Actually..."

Kazrie:"We'll have to pay in kind."

Grinwipey:"We don't want your kind." He seemed to relish the chance to say that, perhaps because people more often say that to or about him.

Me:"Actually..."

Vae:"The money will be better with us. The philosophers and their sycophants will simply use it to further their pernicious doctrine."

Me:"Actually..."

Kazrie:"Money is scarce here, perhaps because we are not in fact the sky pirates you suspect us of being."

Grinwipey:"I never sheepshoofing said you were good sky pirates."

Zuzmaan:" Please be gracious enough to accept bound spells from my mate and myself, which we will provide in great number if necessary." (Zuzmaan is one of the perdithorne, who are natural experts in bound magic.)

Perdithorne are also not prime.

Getting things from perdithorne does nothing at all for a nendrai.

Switching from "getting things from Rassimel" to "getting things from perdithorne" is a poor substitution for a nendrai.

Vae snarled in a sudden crest of fury, and turned a spatula into a tentacled thunderbolt. She was somewhat moderate, in the sense of not actually killing poor Zuzmaan, but the actinic bolt entangled him, hissing fiercely, burning his fur. He presumably whined, and stood very very still so that the thunderbolt wouldn't strangle him. The rest of us presumably yelped in alarm.

Me:"Vae? Please stop tormenting the poor monster. We're here to be helpful."

Vae: A passionate declamation, or, at least, a declamation accompanied by passionate gestures.

Nearly everyone else:A variety of other exclamations, generally appearing to be scared and/or angry

Me:"I'm sorry, but I can't hear you. That thunderbolt was quite loud."

Vae: A sudden transformation to doleful remorse, if her facial expressions were any indication. Or maybe she was reciting some of the shockingly erotic poetry that Umbers had been teaching her, for all I could tell. Admitting that you even have heard that stuff really ought to be accompanied by expressions of doleful remorse.

Several of the natives: ran away

Me: Sponted a group restore-hearing spell. I don't much like doing spontaneous magic: it is undignified. But I don't have a pattern spell to restore hearing to more than one person at a time. I shall have to get one.

Yerenthax: Calmly smashed a chair over Vae's head, then patted her between the eyes.

Vae:"Oh! The thanks are due to you, Yerenthax. And have I become impolite?"

Jyondre:"I'm sure there remain ways for you to be more rude, Vae."

Vae:"Oh, no!" She teleported off in a carnivorous blossom of Locador.

Grinwipey:"Well, thanks for that! You stink-arranging traff plungermongers have shamed off our churfle-busking ride home. Plus our goozey artillery in case the sky pirates get frisky for the three-club mambo."

Kazrie:"Out of curiosity, who will pay for the cley of the spell that you just cast?" Kazrie is very Rassimel; once she gets on a topic, she is unrelenting with it.

Me:"Actually..."

Grinwipey:"Maybe the same wheenwhacking person who set the nendrai off in the frimpin' first place?"

Me:"Actually..."

Kazrie:"She is a volatile person, and violently opposed to her own interests and those of her natural allies."

Vae: (returning after the word "is", in the form of a blindfolded loaf-sized snail) "She's also the one who transported her friends -- if she can still use the word -- here, and who has promised to return them home."

Me:"Actually..."

Grinwipey:"Actually you doorwaying bumpshooters gotta pay the wizard, lozens in my tents right now, or we'll show you what we're holding under our petticoats."

Jyondre: looked exceedingly embarrassed.

Me:"Actually..."

Kazrie:"Actually I am not entirely certain who best deserves the title of 'sky pirate': those whose methods and deeds have been entirely peaceful, or those who threaten frequently and cast shocking spells."

Me:"Actually..."

Yerenthax:"Actually the threats are Grinwipey's normal vernacular; he is just as foulmouthed and bloodworded to us. The spells are the deeds of an upset monster whose powers exceed her gods-blasted self-control. Fortunately her good will exceeds both of those."

Vae: glowed at the compliment.

Everyone else: turned away, or shaded their eyes.

Kazrie:"Actually, the deeds speak for themselves."

Jyondre:"Actually, so does the healing benefice given to you."

Grinwipey:"Actually, we want our skonderskunking money!"

Me:"Actually, I wanted..."

Grinwipey:"Actually, you want a date with those two waterform Orren that you've been drooling over every time I turn an eyestalk towards you, boss."

Well, yes, I had been.

Me:"Actually..."

Grinwipey:"Actually that's a great idea. Save on the epanaleptic whore bills."

Me:"I don't hire whores. And what is epanalepsis anyhow?"

Grinwipey:"You're on vacation, boss. Gonna wind up paying for chotting the old pottle sooner or later. Always happens."

Me:"Actually, I wanted to ask for an I.O.U., which they can repay at their convenience." I was hugely embarrassed by the whole scene, and wanted to be back at home among my usual wrongfolk as soon as I could. Even at the cost of not taking all of some horrible proto-criminals' life savings.

Grinwipey:"Sure, and it's going to be so backered convenient to lurp down and hozzy up your lozens."

Jyondre:"I wonder, could you accept something a bit different? Sort of in the way that a faithfully-married but unskilled couple might accept a but of tutoring in the amatory arts from a prostitute, or a city guard might accept clues towards the solving of a crime from a mind-mage? In both cases, without particular dishonor, even though the informant is not generally the sort of person that would associate with the former?"

Me:"What?"

Jyondre:"The philosophers have thought a great deal about how monsters can live with primes. I wonder if they might look at the arrangements we have for living with Vae, and suggest any improvements that might help the matter?"

Me:"That sounds better than an I.O.U. that will never get paid. Thank you, Jyondre."

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