Language Lesson [12 Hispis 4385]
Me:(sleep sleep sleep. Alone. In a fireplace in my cabin.)
Everybody else, or some of everybody else, was gathered in some parlor or other for language lessons. It should be noted in advance that neither barons nor henchmen were present. (Well, actually I think several of them count as my henchmen, but certainly there were no barons present.)
Jyondre:"Este, please tell us about your day. Take care to use the proper status markers on your pronouns; you've been having trouble with that."
Este:"Umbers-unhi told me-low-unhi about a broken stove in one of the spare kitchens. She-unhi kippliwere me ---"
Jyondre: [interrupting] "Never, never use 'kippliwere'. You're not a noble. You -- and I -- should use 'want'. OK, pretend you've just been soundly thrashed by the baron and his henchmen, and continue."
Este:"I've just been thrashed?"
Jyondre:"You-unhi have just been thrashed, yes."
Este:"I-unhi will lie on the ground and bleed. I-unhi am too overcome with pain to do more than moan. This will save I-unhi ... me-unhi ... from having to deal with pronouns for a while. I-unhi am happier this way."
Yerenthax:"I-hero flounce forth and stand fortifically over Este's fallen form!"
Jyondre:"Hush, love. Your Srineian is better than anybody's."
Este:"I-unhi close my-unhi eyes to slits, so that you-jivu cannot tell whether or not I-unhi am peering up your-jivu lover's skirt while she-hero stands so nobly over me."
Phaniet:"I-jivu kick my-hero husband in the chest. I-jivu am sure-jivu he's looking."
Jyondre:"That sentence is all kinds of wrong."
Este:"Especially morally! I-jivu am allowed to look!"
Yerenthax::"And he-unhi is injured already. I-hero thought to defend poor Este from the baron's henchmen -- instead I-hero must defend him-unhi from his-unhi jealous wife!"
(Of course Este and Phaniet are not married -- how could they be? -- but among traff-folk, we pretend.)
Jyondre:"His-unhi jealous and ungrammatical wife! Phaniet, please kick Este again, this time with proper pronouns. You are not jivu; he-unhi is not a hero. And 'sure' isn't a pronoun at all."
Phaniet:"He-unhi is a hero to me!"
Yerenthax:"For this reason you-unhi kick him-unhi when he-unhi is wounded and stricken down?"
Phaniet:"Yes indeed! I-unhi kick him-unhi when he-unhi fails to live up to his-unhi heroic standards."
Yerenthax:"With grizzlèd guard and gleaming knife / I block the blows of wild wife!"
Este:"I am so definitely getting an eyeful of Yerenthax-bits. If I'm going to get kicked for it anyways."
Yerenthax:"With petticoats and panties pink / I stop the sight of fallen fink!"
Phaniet: [Who has been holding hands with Este all the while.] "If that's the case, I am definitely going to that hot tub that Umbers discovered when she holds her party, to ogle all the cute young Rassimel."
Jyondre:"My dear, philandering, transaffectionate friends, you-unhi have stopped speaking in Srineian. Please return to the lesson at hand."
Umbers:"I-unhi would rather return to the hot tub, now that Este fixed it-unhi."
Jyondre:"The hot tub is not a person! It does not get a status marker!"
Umbers:"It-unhi certainly talks."
Jyondre:"Oh, it's one of those. I-jivu don't know that the Srineian language is quite ready for Strayway."
Este:"Would you-unhi actually take a bath in an intelligent person?"
Umbers:"Don't see why not. I-unhi've done everything else with one."
Jyondre:"Definitely not ready for Strayway."
Umbers:"What, no fallen Herethroy in Srineia?"
Jyondre:"On the whole, Srineia tends to be socially conservative. I-edu am dreading how I-edu will introduce Yerenthax to my-edu parents. I-jivu mentioned her-hero to them-jivu in letters, but did not explain the situation."
Umbers:"I'll try to keep my history to myself."
Jyondre:glared at her.
Yerenthax:"Your-unhi pronouns, Umbers."
Umbers: [with a sigh] "I-unhi will try to keep my-unhi history to myself-unhi."
Jyondre:"Much better, both grammatically and socially. Class, let both aspects of that be a lesson for you-unhi."