Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

A Round of Introductions (Or Something) [7 Hispis 4385]

Mostly they went very politely.

Me:"Este, I'd like you to meet my long-lost cousin Sazandigraa. Saza, please meet Este, who is the Supreme Repairiste of That Which Is Splintered Assunder."

(Yes, we are on thusly informal terms already.)

Este:"It is my honor to meet you, Lord Sazandigraa."

Saza:"And it gives me great comfort to know that, should aught be splintered assunder in my dear coz' mysterious voyage, a Rassimel man of skill and dignity will be on hand to swiftly desplinter it."

See? It's not actually all that hard to be polite.

But sometimes this happens. Saza was sitting on Ochirion's shoulder, having just been introduced to the lad.

Me:"Grinwipey, I'd like [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"I know what you'd like best, but my fudd-whucker ain't getting anywhere near your zoozoo."

Me:"That's not [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"So I'll give you what you'd like second best, and me I'd like first best. Got my clubs right here, got your cousin right there. Ochirion, throw that lizard inna air, and we'll have some three-club music in whango-jango time!"

Me:"Grinwipey, I don't want [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"Hey there, red and feathery! What kind of flowers you like on your burying shroud? I'm a good embroiderer, me! Lay you out like that pretty pretty pancake!"

Me:"Grinwipey, please [interrupted]!"

Saza:"Ooh, duelling time already? Sythyry, your champion is a veritable stallion of eagerness for a fight!"

Me:"He's not my champion, he's my seamstress!"

Grinwipey:"Ain't for Sythyry, 's for my uncle Eggnoster!"

Me:"What?"

Grinwipey:"Hey, red lizard, let's get shing on a wing and see if your blood matches your fluffies! You're brave enough to burn Eggnoster from the comfort 'n privacy of your very own lab while some snoofly little bit froddles you. Are you brave enough to go up sparrow-and-clam with me, right here right now?"

Saza:"Well, are you brave enough to spin the fancy keys with me?"

Me:"You don't have to accept that [interrupted]"

Grinwipey:"Sure as I can piss'n'whistle! Snaggardly little frosty-pet of an Oorish wizard!"

Saza:"Quite all right, coz. I won't hurt him very much, and then we'll get back to the proper etiquette with the rest of your crew."

Grinwipey:"It ain't gonna be this me that's hurting from cramming my good tolly-crack-up up your sweet little pishlet!"

Saza:"Quite so, my good squid, quite so." Zie produced a pair of ivory chopsticks from zir arsenal. "Whenever it meets your convenience, you may feel free to avenge your dear uncle."

Me:"No! Fighting! On! The! Yacht!"

Grinwipey:"This won't be so much a fight as it will be a pudding dance."

Phaniet:"No pudding dancing on the yacht!"

Me:"Grinwipey, stop that at once! Saza, I must apologize!"

Saza:"Well, coz, if you must, I suppose you must, but, seeing as I really did kill his uncle twice or thrice, I feel that I owe him a chance for similar treatment if he wants it."

Me:"You what?"

Grinwipey:"He gave my uncle the cacking pan and the churns! Couldn't statter for months afterwards, could poor old Eggnoster!"

Saza:"One pass at arms, my good squid, and that will be the end of the matter between us."

Grinwipey:"One pass at arms, you pus-crusted bustard, and that will be the giffering end of the matter! And of the tightness of your sphincters too!"

Vae:[whispered by a spell] "Not a bit was I teaching Grinwipey his manners, I swear it!"

Me:"Grinwipey! You didn't tell me you had a mortal enemy in Oorah Thrassen! 'specially one of my relatives!"

Grinwipey:"What you don't know, won't shuffle your duffle! Or maybe it will, haw!"

Saza:"When you are ready, my good squid."

Grinwipey:"That would be just ... about ... now." He curled a tentacle under his livery, and pulled out a club with a distinctly illegal spell on it .

Saza:"Oh, my. This could be bad."

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