On Smelling Like a Cani[10 Hispis 4262]
Me:(something or other unmemorable about smelling like a Cani.)
Narngi:"You know, you don't actually smell like a Cani."
Me:"I don't? I can't smell me really, and I think Ghirbis is the Cani expert in Quelldrie House anyways."
Anoof:"And a few of the actual Cani here might claim a bit of experience, though we would never dare claim actual expertise with a Rassimel around."
I slunk into the fire.
Anoof:"But what do you mean, Narngi, that she doesn't smell like a Cani?" He actually did use the female inflection on the Zi Ri pronoun, which sounds so odd. Nobody would normally say that, but I guess scents matter a lot to a Cani.
Narngi:"Oh, of course. Zie's just got a single scent. As if, oh, zie hadn't been wearing any clothes, or eaten anything, or been near any flowers or incense or wood. Or touched anything with an odor like, oh, paper, or soil, or wood, or ... I said wood already. Or even been lying on any sheets."
Anoof:"Well, like she'd ... zie'd just cast a scent-destroying spell, right after plenty of foreplay."
Narngi:"And then a scent-intensifier. Zie has only that one note, but she's got so much of it."
Anoof:"Zie. Not she."
Narngi:"Right, zie. Why would anyone do that?"
Anoof:"I could imagine our fiance might do that, if we've, well, prepared him for doing his duty by you. That could wind up not smelling very appealing."
Narngi:"That's silly. I'm used to Havune. And he doesn't need preparation, he just likes it."
Me:"Those of us who aren't getting married to you really don't want to know that sort of thing."
Ghirbis:[sung]"The lizarde is wronge, the lizarde is mistakenne, the lizarde is incorrecte, the lizarde can hide zir head in zir winges if zie wants! The rest of us wish as mightly as a thunderbald falling from the realms celestial to hear many, many intimate details."
Dustweed:"Sing for yourself. The fewer intimate details I hear about mammals, the better."
Narngi:"I'm sure that Anoof will be delighted to give you a detailed lecture."
Anoof:"Lecture, maybe. Detailed, no. Demonstration, definitely not. I am not traff!"
Ghirbis:[sung]"I ask and I ask, but ever he refuseth me! I must lay traps and cause heavy tree-limbs to fall upon his head, to get my revenge."
Me:"What's that from?"
Ghirbis:"One of Slerello's operas. Ugly Hand, I think, but it might have been The Mherobump's Passion."
Me:"It sounds like a mherobump to me. A mherobump trying for revenge would want to do as much labor as possible. They like that."
Narngi:"You're turning into such an adventurer. You'd rather talk about monsters than sex!"
Ghirbis:"How about monsters and sex? Why did Vae pick that particular scent, anyways?"
Me:"She'd read some Cani books recently. And she wasn't thinking very much."
Anoof:"Does she ever think very much?"
Ghirbis:"She doesn't turn into Orren for you?"
Ghirbis:"Wasn't she Orren when you met her?"
Ghirbis:"And do you expect me to believe that you failed to seduce an Orren you just met?"
Ghirbis:"You are losing your touch!"
Me:"I never had a touch!" I was getting pretty upset.
Anoof:"Sythyry, I'm taking Appreciation of Chairs this term -- could you explain some things about spraddled-catalog analysis to me?" Anoof is very nice. He will rescue a friend from an annoying conversation.
Ghirbis:"Her-I-mean-zir scent getting to you, Anoof?"
Anoof:"Not half so much as your witticisms are getting to zir, Ghirbis."
Narngi:"Don't be jealous, Ghirbis. That would be my job, if I were the least bit worried about it."
So I insisted that it was the perfect time to spraddle, in a Rassimel-free and well-ventilated room. Anoof was a perfect gentleman about it. Though he knows as much about Appreciation of Chairs as I do, or more.