Bear[d]ing the Monster [3 Hispis 4262]
Me:"Hallo, Vae. How are you?"
Vae:"The bit of a fret I have on me, Sythyry."
Me:"I'm sorry to hear that. Is it about your bowl and chopsticks?"
Vae:"The yes, the very yes."
Me:"Tell me what happened?"
Vae:"The second day of the week is when I eat an egg from that bowl. The white wine for poaching it, too."
Which is entirely understandable. I gave Vae a book titled Rather Regular Rhoonef, about a Cani girl who wanted to do exactly the same things every day of the week. Rhoonef either Comes to a Bad End or is Disabused of her Ridiculous Fancies, depending on which kind of a children's book it is. I haven't read it in twenty years, and I don't remember so well. Anyone who grew up around here can recite the nine different breakfasts by heart, though: (1) toast and caterpillar jam; (2) egg poached in babywine; (3) porridge sprinkled with dried fish; and so on for two more rhyming triplets.
Me:"Do you do the whole Rhoonef cycle of breakfasts?"
Vae:"Not all; there's no caterpillar jam with me."
Vae:"And is it good?"
Me:"I don't like it."
Vae:"Not, then. The different jam you must bring me." In case you were wondering about the physical basis for our relationship.
Me:"I'll add that to my list."
Vae:"The peering-about I made, and ... " She started crying, with jagged bits of glass wrecking her eyes from the inside. If I cried like that, I would try not to cry so often. I do not really like the nendrai attitude towards mortal injuries.
Me:Comfort, comfort, what the snurgling feck rackle are you crying about anyways?
Vae:"And will Oixe respect me if a Gormoror brute steals my bowls? And will anyone?"
I comforted her about the head with a big spiky mace. (I have obviously been spending too much time with Gormoror and nendrai -- I shouldn't even think of a metaphor like that.) More specifically, I pointed out that:
|The Situation||Vae's Response (summarized)|
|They probably wouldn't even know it.||They'll find out somehow.|
|They care about her for herself, not stupid little incidents.||Are you under the misapprehension that we're some nicey-nicey poodlemorph Cani or something?|
|Well, they'd care about her for her power levels and combat prowess.||Oixe handed me my ass when we fought.|
|OK, they'll care about how effective you are when you're full-grown and not all begoggled by meeting another nendrai the same age.||You really don't understand nendrai at all, Sythyry!|
|No, I really don't have a clue about nendrai. Except that I know a whole lot about what primes know about you, like I took a class in it.||Ťãỉł℉ℒįĉķ|
|No, I don't want those giant waves of effulgent radience flowing out of my crest...||This is interesting information which I will cherish later.|
|... please? ...||Bring me caterpillar jam.|
I hate my job.
(But at least she's not rampaging.)