The Wrong Kind of Doom [20 Trandary 4262]
I'm supposed to date Orren, I know, I really am. I know that. Everyone knows that. Even Jrakh knows that. She invited me out anyways. "No pressure or anything, but we're both between serious relationships at the moment, and you're looking so sad and mopey."
Me:"Am I that bad?"
Jrakh:"No. Briz-Thammuz was talking about the other sad blue Zi Ri in class."
Me:"Oh, no. I didn't catch that."
Jrakh:"You were staring at your claws and sort of whimpering at the time."
Me:"I was? I didn't notice."
Jrakh:"Yeah, you're too morose. Which is exactly why you need to go on a date."
Jrakh:"You could go out with that Sleeth. Really, do you think I could ask on someone else's behalf? I'm not a Cani."
Me:"Right, you're not a Cani."
Jrakh:"So, yes or no?"
Me:"Yes! Yes, a date, definitely a date. Where are we going?"
Jrakh:"Finally! I'll pick a show, you pick a restaurant. Pay for what you pick. We'll meet at the Pillar of Incangiophor, say?"
This is going to be so doomed, I know it.
Well, I had wanted to try out Kio-Koila, and it's not far from the Pillar of Incangiophor. Which is, as it turns out, an excellent place to meet, even if you don't need to perform Dilitlinilla's Feathered Corrective.
Me:"Hallo, Jrakh. My, you're looking impressive tonight."
She was, too. She's a fairly large Rassimel with squirrel styling, and she usually dresses in student style, which is fairly casual. She was wearing something nearly suitable for the ducal court of Daukrhame, including a pair of silver daggers and a chimeront-leather shortcloak. And some other garments whose names I do not remember at the moment, but they looked really nice and must have been pretty expensive.
Jrakh:"Thank you. I do my best... what is that lion with a pigeon's head on the column about?"
Me:"They're representations of civic virtues. That's Respect for the Authorities."
Jrakh:"I would never have guessed. How about the three-headed mushroom monster over there?"
Me:"That's Unity of the Prime Species."
Jrakh:"Why is Unity of the Prime Species represented as a three-headed mushroom monster?"
Me:"Well, they couldn't represent it a prime, 'cause then it wouldn't represent the Unity of the Prime Species, it'd just represent the one. So, what other option could there possibly be than a three-headed mushroom monster?"
Jrakh:"How about, oh, a city seal?"
Me:"Well, that would probably represent the Unity of the Prime Species Except For Sleeth and Gormoror, since they live in the country mostly."
Jrakh:"I forgot them. They're easy to forget."
Me:"They are, truly. Oh, and probably three quarters of the Herethroy too."
Jrakh:"I suppose that's right... but why a mushroom monster?"
Me:"You wouldn't want to represent the Unity of the Prime Species by some real kind of non-prime, would you?"
Me:"Well, what other choice is there? At least, I'm sure that the symbolists were thinking that. And then opened a book of mythology and threw a dart."
Jrakh:"Well, I'd represent it as a conga-line act of coital penetration, with all eight."
Me:"Ooh! Who's doing the Khtsoyis?"
Jrakh:"How about the Herethroy in front, receptive? I'd love to see my ex in front of a Khtsoyis, receptive. And Gormoror in the rear, penetrative?"
Me:"Aww... I wanted to save the Gormoror for in front of the Orren. My ex."
We spent the appetizer course (me: tathicomine beetles, which are a very expensive and somewhat more refined version of chub beetles; her: a small tree of dried fruits and gingerbread sticks, rather pretty but not as tasty as it could have been) arranging the eight prime species in a line, for a number of increasingly obscure reasons. When I offered to put the Zi Ri right behind the Rassimel in the middle of the line, she smirked and allowed as how that would be just fine.