Of The Prospective Roommates [9 Trandary 4262]
The Cani instantly gave me affan in choosing the next roommate.
Me:"How is it that I'm in charge of deciding who lives here?"
Ghirbis:"I picked Agrimony. You picked everyone else."
Me:"Not strictly true!"
Ghirbis:"What incident with Iska?"
Ghirbis:"Sythyry was involved with Iska once?"
Anoof:"No wonder zie despises her!"
Narngi:"Zie detests her poor judgment. In getting involved with zir."
Me:"I now grant affan in roommate choosing to Ghirbis. She only chose Agrimony. I chose Anoof and Narngi."
This did not suffice to getting rid of affan in choosing the next roommate.
Ghirbis:"I spoke with one Drascurrie. He is a very tidy terrier-styled Cani boy, from a respectable bookbinder's family."
Me:"What does he study?"
Me:"Weren't we going to find another student? With the example of horrid Dubaille in front of us?"
Ghirbis:"But he's quite nice."
Anoof:"How many Cani boys do you need?"
Ghirbis:"I'm a collector!"
Dustweed:"How about Verphlange?"
Me:"Who is Verphlange?"
Dustweed:"The Gormoror history student."
Anoof:"Reasons of species." He scowled and flicked his tail around angrily.
Narngi:[loyally]"I, too, veto Verphlange."
Later, I whispered to zir, "Enziet likes Gormoror."
Dustweed:"Then I propose Brangwoe."
Me:"Who is Brangwoe?"
Anoof:"A jerk! A lout! A complex pustule on the face of the Academy!"
Me:"Anoof evidently votes in favor of Brangwoe."
Dustweed:"What's wrong with Brangwoe? He seems like a nice enough Orren."
Narngi:"Sythyry evidently votes in favor of Brangwoe."
Me:"Everyone evidently votes in favor of Brangwoe, but, somehow, he is not accepted."
Anoof:"Brangwoe does not pay his gambling debts, and he has used wenezza to fornicate with girls who might, of their own free will, not fornicated with him."
Narngi:"Right. Veto. We'll take perverts, but not wicked ones."
Me:"I am endlessly reassured by your compassion for my plight."
Narngi:"How about Msesc?"
Dustweed:"Who is Msesc?"
Me:"Rassimel. Dyes her fur black. Recites doom poetry at any opportunity. Fills a room with moroseness in six seconds flat."
Narngi:"I was hoping we could, well, cheer her up or something."
Me:"Are we a house of rehabilitation?"
Narngi:"No, but ..."
Anoof:"Why is she so morose?"
Narngi:"Bad grades, mostly, and she killed her sister when she was six. Semi-intentionally."
Children do kill each other, and themselves, with spontaneous magic, from time to time. Often it is accidental. Sometimes, they do it on purpose, fighting over a toy or something. Not recommended. Zi Ri are rarely at risk for this. If Hezimikkinen were to kill me, it would be no accident.
Me:"She's been morose all her life since then?"
Narngi:"More or less."
Me:"Well, does anyone but Narngi think it would be a good idea to have a mopey Rassy as a roommate?"
Anoof:[loyally]"If Narngi thinks it is an excellent idea, she might well be right."
Narngi:"Just maybe worth investigating."
Anoof:"Well, if there are no other good options, let us investigate this one further."
Me:"Rhedwy's a Sleeth. She's not so awful."
Ghirbis:"... For a Sleeth."
Anoof:"Which pretty much rules Gerpounce out."
Me:"I beg your pardon? You don't even know Gerpounce."
Anoof:"If we've got friends of Rhedwy here, Gerpounce will consider Quelldrie House to be Rhedwy's territory."
Anoof:"But that's not the real reason we can't consider Gerpounce."
Me:"What is the real reason we can't consider Gerpounce?"
Anoof:"We can't have two people with the same first syllable. It's bad luck if two people even have the same letter!"
Narngi:"That's a silly superstition. And mostly applies to adventurers anyways"
Anoof:"Not true. Anoof and Agrimony, and we had a bit of doom. Besides, with Sythyry here, we're probably adventurers."
Ghirbis:"Besides, 'ghir' sounds nothing like 'ger'."
Me:"To you, maybe. They sound the same to the rest of us."
Dustweed:"Shush, both of you!"
Me:"Right. Any more suggestions on roommates?"
There were none.
Anoof:"Sythyry, you've got affan. You're not supposed to look mopey and overwhelmed now. You're supposed to deliver a rousing speech about how we can't give up hope after only one day."
Me:"Right. OK. We're doomed, disgraced, deprived, defeated, despoiled, desparate, desecrated, dehypnotized, deglazed, and probably demolished as well -- but we are not defeated!"
Ghirbis:"Are you sure?"
Me:"Quite sure. We are not defeated!"
Anoof:"But you said we were defeated."
Me:"Oh, right. We are defeated. But we're not ... um ... detartrated."
Anoof:"Detartrated? You can do better than that."
Me:"Defenestrated! We may be doomed and all of that, and even defeated, but we are not defenestrated."
Anoof:"OK. Enough of a speech. Let's defenestrate Sythyry."
So they did, with great glee and a great purple pillow. I'm not a very strong flier; I had to drop the pillow.