Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

Roiling the Roommates[8 Trandary 4262]

Agrimony did us the courtesy of leaving us a large note on the breakfast table in the Lightly Scaled Refectory, a good third of an hour before the movers came.

Dear soon-to-be-former roommates,

It is with the utmost regret that I inform you that I have found it unavoidable -- inevitable -- nay, even inexorable -- that I depart this hallowed abode of Quelldrie House, and, instead, deploy myself in the chambers of my darling fiancee the Baronness of Valdeburg. Mere words cannot express my sorrow at leaving all of you -- therefore, let words be silent! Let them curl up under the table and take a nap! Let them them get distracted by their stenchsome interspecies relationships and fail to attend this meeting! Let them be carried away by carnivorous birds and dropped off the side of the world-branch!

Let it never be said that I have any sort of regret for my association with the several of you. Let it never be said, nor even whispered, that there is any sort of possible harm to the reputation that could come from ever dwelling in Quelldrie House, even with such notable persons of personal extravagance as yourselves. Let it never be said or even implied that I myself have been involved in such matters. At least, I hope such things are never going to be said.

In all ways, living with you has been a matter of considerable experience. I trust that you will continue in your experiences without my occasional reminders of decency or blundering in on disturbing scenes in the public parlors of Quelldrie House.

With all available sincerety,
I remain,
Agrimony

This proved to be a subject of some discussion.

Discussion of the Charges

Me:"There have been disturbing scenes in the public parlors of Quelldrie House?"

Dustweed:"My former girlfriend was not always as diligent about closing the door behind her as she could have been."

Anoof:"And you were too distracted with her Rassimel wiles to remember to close it yourself."

Narngi:"She's an artist. She just wants an audience."

Anoof:"I didn't know she was that kind of an artist!"

Narngi:"There is, in the end, no other kind of artist."

Anoof:"I am not quite sure what this "end" that you are referring to may be."

Narngi:"An end of a sort with which you should be quite familiar!" She faced away from Anoof, and lifted her tail, revealing to him and several of the rest of us that she was wearing quite decent and proper and chaste pantaloons. She presumably wafted to Anoof the scent equivalent of a highly detailed three-page love letter, which he (and Enziet) could read and nobody else could.

Anoof looked appreciative. Enziet looked a bit pained. The traff and formerly-traff among us realized that, though we were many and the cissy were few, that just Anoof and Narngi probably outnumbered us all. In (pre)marital satisfaction, at least. Dashed Cani!

Discussion of the Charges

Dustweed:"Actually, I think it was the time he caught Ghirbis with a very happy mouthful of a very happy Darkwad in the parlor."

Ghirbis:[singing]"I demur! I defect! I deny!"

Me:"I didn't hear about this!"

Dustweed:"You were sort of busy with your job."

Me:"Accursed job, that keeps me away from such rumors!"

Ghirbis:[singing]"No, no, it was not so! It was otherwise -- otherwise!"

Me:"What sort of otherwise was it, Ghirbis?"

Ghirbis:[Singing]"I know not -- I am unaware -- I am a chariot of lightning -- I cannot remember!"

Anoof:"She's right, actually."

Ghirbis:[Singing]"Vindicated! Confirmed! Enrobed in sweet, sweet chocolate! My every denial, validated!"

Anoof:"Just so. Ghirbis was doing Darkwad in her bedroom. Her mouth was full of Korionis when Agrimony caught her in the parlor."

Ghirbis:[singing]"Alas! I am denied, defied, defiled!"

Narngi:[singing, same tune]"...described!"

Me:"Who's Korionis?"

Ghirbis:"My Cani boy... mine!"

Dustweed:"Right. Sythyry, you get the Orren. It's Ghirbis who gets the Cani."

Me:"Right. I had temporarily forgotten my obsession with Orren. Or maybe I swore off them forever again last night, I forget."

Ghirbis:"You were certainly looking at Raom with sworn-off-forever eyes."

Anoof:"I've never seen such forsworn eyes."

Me:"That is of neither concern, importance, nor even moment!"

Anoof:"What, then, is of concern, importance, or, perhaps, even moment? Perhaps you wish to change the topic to how we shall pay for Quelldrie House, lacking a roommate?"

Me:"What? No, never!"

Anoof:"Never?"

Me:"What is of concern, importance, and, even, moment is: how was Raom looking at me?"

There was no good answer for that. Not even a bad answer.

Discussion of the Charges

Me:"But how, now, shall we pay for Quelldrie House?"

Narngi:"If it's a choice between a roommate like Agrimony and paying more rent, I'd rather pay more rent."

Me:"Me, too."

Ghirbis:"I can't really afford more."

Anoof:"I'd rather spend the money on other things, too."

So --- does anyone know any Vheshrame Academy students looking for a place to live?

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