Excuses [24 Nivvem 4261]
This time, I took precautions to prevent espionage and evesdropping by Dustweed, before chatting with Ghirbis.
Me:"Ghirbis? Am I entirely confused, drunk, befuddled, and twitterpated, or did you just steal Tethezai's coloverfriend?"
Ghirbis:"If those are the choices, it must be the first one."
Me:"I was afraid of that. I hate being drunk when I didn't actually drink anything. Still, what did just happen?"
Ghirbis:"Dustweed was being morose..."
Me:"...An entirely and wholly unprecedented situation!..."
Ghirbis:"Specifically, zie was being morose at great length about how zie would never again enjoy interpersonal affection."
Me:"An entirely reasonable topic of morosity."
Ghirbis:"I could, after some time, endure no more. Proving zir wrong seemed to be less repugnant than listening."
Ghirbis:"I have enjoyed an evening with a Herethroy woman before, and a Herethroy man on a separate occasion. I am not entirely sure that, by looking at the genitalia, I could tell which is which."
Me:"They look the same?"
Ghirbis:"Hardly! They look wholly different. But neither one makes much sense in mammalian terms."
Me:"As founder of the Vheshrame Academy Society of Transaffectionate Excellence, I hereby obligate you to enjoy a great deal more Herethroy pornography. For research purposes."
Me:"As good a name as any."
Ghirbis:"I will, but you must buy it for me, and pre-test and verify every picture."
Me:"In due time, I shall do this."
Ghirbis:"I imagine I shall be centuries dead by then."
Me:"Only decades, I hope!"
Ghirbis:"Delightful. In any case, Dustweed's genitalia are wholly different from either male or female Herethroy, and just as incomprehensible."
Me:"We shared a room last year, if you remember."
Ghirbis:"You shared a room? You saw zir disrobe?"
Ghirbis:"And you still didn't figure out that zie's a both-female?"
Me:"Ordinarily, I would expire tragically at this point in the conversation, as a tactical move to distract attention from my obtuseness. But you, yourself, just noted how confusing Herethroy genitalia are."
Ghirbis:"I prescribe an extensive course of Herethroy pornography."
Me:"For both of us! There is a half-filled bookshelf in the Arena of Massacres and Spectacles of Blood. We could keep it there."
Ghirbis:"Enziet should contribute too, for she is traff."
Me:"Enziet should, but she may not. Dustweed should too, since zie is Herethroy and, evidently, not traff."
Ghirbis:"Despite being easily seduced by Rassimel girls. Accidentally seduced, even."
Me:"Speaking of which, what will become of the couple of you and Dustweed now?"
Ghirbis:"Very little. Zie is, as previously noted, not traff, and if zie were having a cross-species relationship, zie would beg for Tethezai to return."
Me:"You are sure of this?"
Ghirbis:"Zie said as much at a time when a more reasonable lover might exclaim 'I love you!' or 'Ghirbis, you hold my heart, or at least a substantial part of my intimate region!' or simply moan."
Me:"As definitive a statement as we are likely to get from the poor Herethroy."
Ghirbis:"I myself might reject further relationshipness, after such an outcry. It was not flattering."
Me:"Ilottat said such things now and then, but rarely at quite such inopportune times."
Ghirbis:"I would reject further -- which is to say, any -- relationshipness with Ilottat too."
The conversation wandered off to speaking ill of former lovers: a topic I now relish considerably. As of today, Ghirbis+Dustweed are not an item. My estimation of Ghirbis' sympathy has increased. Or her lecherousness, or strength of stomach.