Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Excuses [24 Nivvem 4261]

This time, I took precautions to prevent espionage and evesdropping by Dustweed, before chatting with Ghirbis.

Me:"Ghirbis? Am I entirely confused, drunk, befuddled, and twitterpated, or did you just steal Tethezai's coloverfriend?"

Ghirbis:"If those are the choices, it must be the first one."

Me:"I was afraid of that. I hate being drunk when I didn't actually drink anything. Still, what did just happen?"

Ghirbis:"Dustweed was being morose..."

Me:"...An entirely and wholly unprecedented situation!..."

Ghirbis:"Specifically, zie was being morose at great length about how zie would never again enjoy interpersonal affection."

Me:"An entirely reasonable topic of morosity."

Ghirbis:"I could, after some time, endure no more. Proving zir wrong seemed to be less repugnant than listening."

Me:"Was it?"

Ghirbis:"I have enjoyed an evening with a Herethroy woman before, and a Herethroy man on a separate occasion. I am not entirely sure that, by looking at the genitalia, I could tell which is which."

Me:"They look the same?"

Ghirbis:"Hardly! They look wholly different. But neither one makes much sense in mammalian terms."

Me:"As founder of the Vheshrame Academy Society of Transaffectionate Excellence, I hereby obligate you to enjoy a great deal more Herethroy pornography. For research purposes."


Me:"As good a name as any."

Ghirbis:"I will, but you must buy it for me, and pre-test and verify every picture."

Me:"In due time, I shall do this."

Ghirbis:"I imagine I shall be centuries dead by then."

Me:"Only decades, I hope!"

Ghirbis:"Delightful. In any case, Dustweed's genitalia are wholly different from either male or female Herethroy, and just as incomprehensible."

Me:"I know."

Ghirbis:"You know?"

Me:"We shared a room last year, if you remember."

Ghirbis:"You shared a room? You saw zir disrobe?"


Ghirbis:"And you still didn't figure out that zie's a both-female?"

Me:"Ordinarily, I would expire tragically at this point in the conversation, as a tactical move to distract attention from my obtuseness. But you, yourself, just noted how confusing Herethroy genitalia are."

Ghirbis:"I prescribe an extensive course of Herethroy pornography."

Me:"For both of us! There is a half-filled bookshelf in the Arena of Massacres and Spectacles of Blood. We could keep it there."

Ghirbis:"Enziet should contribute too, for she is traff."

Me:"Enziet should, but she may not. Dustweed should too, since zie is Herethroy and, evidently, not traff."

Ghirbis:"Despite being easily seduced by Rassimel girls. Accidentally seduced, even."

Me:"Speaking of which, what will become of the couple of you and Dustweed now?"

Ghirbis:"Very little. Zie is, as previously noted, not traff, and if zie were having a cross-species relationship, zie would beg for Tethezai to return."

Me:"You are sure of this?"

Ghirbis:"Zie said as much at a time when a more reasonable lover might exclaim 'I love you!' or 'Ghirbis, you hold my heart, or at least a substantial part of my intimate region!' or simply moan."

Me:"As definitive a statement as we are likely to get from the poor Herethroy."

Ghirbis:"I myself might reject further relationshipness, after such an outcry. It was not flattering."

Me:"Ilottat said such things now and then, but rarely at quite such inopportune times."

Ghirbis:"I would reject further -- which is to say, any -- relationshipness with Ilottat too."

The conversation wandered off to speaking ill of former lovers: a topic I now relish considerably. As of today, Ghirbis+Dustweed are not an item. My estimation of Ghirbis' sympathy has increased. Or her lecherousness, or strength of stomach.

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