Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

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OOC: Personal Ads

In a moment of existential dastardliness, I found myself posting personal ads in the "Quick Sex Desired" section of craigslist.org. The fact that my wife and her girlfriend were lurking over my shoulder did nothing to deter me. (They laughed -- they laughed at me!) I got no responses. None. *sigh* Whatever shall I do?
  1. I wish to find (or acquire) 3-5 women wearing small blue hats (not provided). No kinky behavior will results! This will be on the third floor! Now you understand, OK?
  2. Us:
    • He - 4'6", made of blue plastic, capable of emitting laser beams from eyes.
    • She - 7' even, skilled in martial arts, marital arts, multiple personalities.
    • It - Robot car/plane, fully equipped, A.I. with Ph.D. and GPS.

    You: Invulnerable, capable of flight (self-powered or machine-assisted, we're easy), projected-energy weapons.

    Encounter: We guarantee you a two-hour very dramatic aerial battle over Brooklyn. It will get onto all the news channels. Very famous! Big profits afterwards -- we split them 50/50.

  3. (After reading three too many ads for "discrete encounter"): Looking for a continuous encounter. Differentiable a plus. I'm an upward-monotonic guy, well-conditioned, compact, regular, normal. Let's take it to the limit, baby!
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