What a Libertine Does in her Own Mind [18 Nivvem 4261]
Continuing my collection of libertines, I took the liberty of interrogating Tethezai.
Me:"Hallo! And, specifically, not "hiio!". How are you? How is Dustweed?"
Tethezai:"Hallo! I don't know what you mean by "Hiio"! I am perfectly wonderful, especially in intimate ways. And Dustweed is just peachy -- why do you ask? Haven't you seen zir much lately? Zie's been at home, and you've been at home."
Me:"Oh ... Zie seemed sort of out of sorts the last time we spoke, and I was hoping that things got sorted out."
Me:"That's what the nendrai says. She thinks it's cute. I don't think it's cute. I think it's juvenile and cutesey in a way that really sits badly in her huge fangy mouth. I don't tell that to the nendrai, though. She might be offended."
Tethezai:"That would be bad for you! She might turn you into some horrid grub!"
Me:"More likely she'd cry at me for a while, but that's only marginally better. Fortunately, I know enough not to tell her things like that."
Tethezai:"And there's something in your manner that keeps people from taking offense at you."
Me:"Well ... usually."
Tethezai:"You can even get away with mild insults and the like!"
Me:"Well ... usually."
Tethezai:"I've seen you in action! If you're not actually trying to insult someone, you won't!"
Me:"Well ... usually. That's the nicest thing anyone's said about me today, you know, Tethezai?"
Tethezai:"I spread niceness the way I spread butter on bread!"
Me:"You spread niceness the way you spread legs in bed!"
Tethezai:"My point exactly. If Dustweed had said that, I'd be mildly insulted. I know you mean it in a suitably admiring and slightly envious fashion, though."
(I was, in fact, trying to be mildly insulting, since that particular topic was the root of the quarrel that Dustweed was having with Tethezai. Unfortunately, it was a one-sided quarrel -- evidently with Dustweed being on the one, only, and entirely losing side.)
Me:"Well, that will have to do, I suppose. How about Claryelle?"
Tethezai:"Well, I did have high hopes for Claryelle. I did seduce her quite thoroughly, but, well ... I don't think she has the proper spirit, do you know?"
Me:"I have, unaccountably, neglected to seduce Claryelle myself, so I don't precisely know."
Tethezai:"Well, you do know what happens when you seduce someone of another species, and, after all the horizontal fun, they remember that they're distinctly sub-libertine?"
Tethezai:"Well, for you, I suppose it would be cisaffectionate. Bound up by conventional morality and propriety, and stupid notions of who should enjoy body-play with whom."
Me:"Oh, that. No, that's never happened to me."
Tethezai:"Well, you are phenomenally lucky, as well as inoffensive. It happened three times in my first dozen other-species lovers!"
Me:"If it had happened three times to me, I'd be in some kind of horrid bureaucratic lover deficit."
Me:"I haven't had three lovers yet."
Tethezai:"Are you trying to offend me?"
Me:"...no..." (Which is to say, "yes, but not about that.")
Tethezai:"Really? You're not trying to lie to me and thereby offend me?"
Me:"Really. If I needed to offend you, I'd probably resort to vulgarities."
Tethezai:"Sythyry, you've been at school for four terms. You should have lost count of your lovers by now."
Me:"I haven't lost count. It's two."
Tethezai:"You're daft, lizard. Why not?"
Me:"Um ... 'cause I flee from sex parties?"
Me:"I flee from sex parties."
Tethezai:"Right. Now I am offended. How dare you flee from sex parties?" She sounded serious.
Me:"They're disturbing. And even distressing."
Tethezai:"You're utterly hopeless, lizard!"
At least one of us stormed off, in a whiffle of feathers and/or fur. Both of us reported this conversation to Dustweed. The official reason why I am not allowed to run away from sex parties is that I am exotic, and thus should be made widely available to the libertine community at large. This goes for Dustweed too, except that Tethezai is somewhat more protective of Dustweed, or, perhaps, goes to those parties as a vacation from zir.
- I didn't manage to get any useful information from Tethezai.
- I probably don't need to.