Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

Exceedingly Dangerous Trowel

I went to talk to Kaim-Su about the trowel. I left it at home because it's metal and my love-destroying carrying talisman won't carry it, and I didn't really want to get a favor from Dustweed (who is home) or from Jarmiet (who is going home soon and deserves to). So of course Kaim-Su got on Shadowfrog and we galloped through the city, leaping over occasional pedestrians who didn't get out of the way in time, back to Quelldrie House, and didn't stop galloping 'til he was in my bedroom.

(Well, no, he didn't bring Shadowfrog into the house. It felt that way.)

Whereupon he inspected the trowel very closely, including with the Eye of Mimizan and Mirizan, and agreed that he couldn't see any threats.

"Then I should keep it?" I asked.

"Absolutely not. You need to have it cleaned, and by some very ferocious means or other," he said.

"It's a bit soiled, yes... It looks well-used."

"We don't want horrible offworld plants growing sprouting from seeds in it. We don't want horrible offworld insects growing from eggs in it. We don't want horrible offworld mystery creatures doing whatever horrible offworld creatures do from it," said Kaim-Su.

"From dirt?"

"From dirt, precisely. It's happened before. The Eater of Cities might have done."

So we had the seven-winged flaming thing curl around it for half an hour. I don't know if that destroyed any Eater of Cities eggs lurking in it, but it certainly destroyed the tired old wood of the handle. For all I know, an Eater of Cities can only be spawned when a special sorcerous slug lays an egg in the tired old wood handle of an offworld trowel that is then incubated by a seven-winged burning thing. Or something.

Then we collected all the ashes into a glass jar, and added spirits of vitriol, and gave it to one of the guard sorcerers to turn into a cork, which we then burned again, and had the sorcerer turn into a spiky bone thing with the word "DANGER" written on it. Then we wrote an explanation of what it was and tucked it in a back cabinet at the guard offices. The cabinet was half-full of similarly-treated objects.

"What about the legendary and dreadful offworld giant alien city-squishing iron slugs?" I asked.

"Don't be silly, Sythyry," said the sorcerer.

Legendary and dreadful offworld giant alien city-squishing iron slugs?

Legendary
0(0.0%)
Dreadful
1(2.1%)
Not as big as you'd expect.
14(29.2%)
Not acceptable currency. ["Not good fertilizer" in the original. -bb]
11(22.9%)
Best eaten with garlic butter.
16(33.3%)
Found-mainly-in-the-sky
2(4.2%)
Don't be silly, Sythyry.
4(8.3%)

Which would you rather know socially? (-4 = A legendary and dreadful giant city-squishing iron slug; +4 = Ilottat; 0 = they're about even).

Mean: 0.24 Median: 0 Std. Dev 1.92
-4
2(4.8%)
-3
1(2.4%)
-2
5(11.9%)
-1
2(4.8%)
0
18(42.9%)
1
4(9.5%)
2
4(9.5%)
3
3(7.1%)
4
3(7.1%)

What do you even say to a legendary and dreadful offworld giant alien city-squishing iron slug?

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