Well-Aged Wine, part 2 [4 Consimbs 4261]
I freely admit that I was staring at the stark-naked glistening purple Orren made of Chateau Montdegrarrhu '28. I even more freely admit that Ghirbis and Dustweed, Evil Housemates the both of them, were snickering 'til their tails sparked.
Ghirbis:"Sythyry's got a cru-ush! A grand cru-ush!"
Me:"I generally prefer brandy, in point of fact." As anyone reading this journal will surely know!
Chateau Montdegrarrhu '28:"Oh, then? Are you constructing a suitable consort of me by means of your enchantments?"
Ghirbis:"A classical idea!"
Ghirbis:"A capital idea! Sythyry, you must animate some Pfeltoise for the gentleconstruct immediately."
Pfeltoise, of course, reminded me of pickled leech and apricot soup, and I spent some moments prying that memory out of my head. In the meantime Ghirbis and Dustweed performed formal introductions; the Chateau Montdegrarrhu '28 responded with far more courtesy and charm than (1) any other cask of wine that I have had the pleasure of talking with, and (2) me; and Ghirbis and Dustweed watched me closely to observe any slightest signs of physical attraction.
So of course I interrogated the Chateau Montdegrarrhu '28 about professional matters instead. Here is a summary of its condition:
|Topic||Condition||My corresponding answer||The judgment of Ghirbis and Dustweed|
|Relationship with its maker||Its maker was evicted from the academy after an acrimonious discussion concerning the pregnancy of a student in one of his classes. Its maker never calls, and never writes.||My ~mother~ periodically shows up and makes impractical demands, or, when I am fortunate, offers bribes.||On the whole the bribes outweigh the lack of demands, according to Ghirbis and Dustweed.|
|Construction||The obvious enchantment -- animating wine being in no way easier than animating water, say, though possibly harder than animating blood (I'm not sure), plus three or four others for practical matters.||Not obvious, but, evidently, pretty effective.|
|Awareness of Current Events||The wine seems quite aware of current events, such as the Lesmesarde affair. "I have time to read the broadsheets in the evening," it says.||I was not aware of the Lesmesarde affair.||The wine wins.|
|Employment||The wine finds employment as a guardian for the Academy's collection of magical implements and constructs, of which it is catalog item #C-13-Sh.||I am ambassador to Vae||The wine wins. We're both doomed, but the wine's just going to get killed by an adventurer at some point. I'm going to get killed horribly and be an example in Prof. Phrass's class ("Leap into this Pool of Boiling Acid". Maybe the nendrai one too if he keeps doing that.)|
|Romantic Prowess||Not wholly without romance, though the nature of construct-construct romance is somewhat limited (save in the case of constructs designed for such matters, which it is not).||Having a delightful and exceedingly romantic association with Ilottat.||The wine wins. Absolutely.|
At which point, my Evil Housemates declared that the wine had the superior life. We made our farewells, and departed to Quelldrie House. I daresay I look like I'm sulking.
[This is a Katrina cameo, in case you weren't sure.]