Parental Oversight [27 Oix 4261]
The Specific Charge
Eitharheinen:"You have purchased Extra Sleep in the Morning? Sythyry, what on wood are you thinking? You are a Zi Ri! Your sole claim to personal power is that you have plenty of time! Does the Duke wear a vast illusionary thundercloud over his head saying "I AM THE DUKE?" No, he does not -- doing it is enough! Does the author of a modestly amusing fanfic series write a whole self-praising autobiography to go with it when it is vanity-published? No, it does not -- the work should largely speak for itself! You should not be learning time spells! It is unseemly!"
Me:"Between classes and ambassadorship, I frequently find myself running short of time. Howevermuch I have in the matter of centuries, I am living in days now, and my days need more hours in them!"
Eitharheinen:Further explanations and exhortations! Disparaging statements about how much of my time is surely going to the wrong-species boyfriend! "You must return the spell at once!"
Me:"I can't. I've grafted half of it already."
Eitharheinen:"Well, then you cannot return it. Still, you must never admit to having that spell."
I have, of course, bubbled about getting it to my entire Enchantment class, and Ilottat, and my roommates, and, I daresay, the waiters at The Soup in Sloop. This may explain a few fire-edged looks.
The General Issue
Actually, zie hadn't visited because of that spell in particular. Zie had, suddenly, gotten a bill for a great many spells -- an itemized bill -- and was concerned.
Eitharheinen:"You bought a rather insane pile of spells. What, precisely, do you plan to do with them?"
Me:"Um... graft them?"
Me:"Well, yes. What else does one do with boxed spells?"
Eitharheinen:"One might, perhaps, sell them at a discount, thereby converting a large fraction of zir well-arranged stipend into wholly fungible funds. One might entirely lose one's stipend by such tricks."
Me:"That had not occurred to me."
Eitharheinen:"And the spells are of such varied character and function -- and arts! -- that I cannot at all understand why a single person might purchase all of them together at once."
I despaired of explaining just how cute Dewdrop is, and just how persuasive.
Me:"Well, I do plan to graft them as soon as I can manage. I'm halfway through More Sleep in the Morning already."
This prompted the particular bit of outrage above.
Eitharheinen:"And how is it that you have purchased a Destroc Locador spell, a Mutoc Magiador spell, and Kennoc Herbador spell? Of these six arts, you are competant at exactly one, and not very competant even at that! Which is another sign of negligence!"
Me:"Actually, I can cast all but one of them."
Eitharheinen:"... really?..." Zie can be quite terrifying, even if one is telling the truth.
Me:"Um ... yes?"
Eitharheinen:"You have neglected mentioning studying these topics. Indeed, the Vheshrame Academy has neglected mentioning it as well, as has Hezimikkinen."
Me:"Wasn't there. I've been adventuring."
Eitharheinen:"You what? You have neglected mentioning that, as have Vheshrame Academy and Hezimikkinen both. I absolutely forbid any risking of your life!"
Me:"Well, I've been ambassadoring to Vae. That counts as adventuring. And I'd rather not do, but the Duke ..."
Eitharheinen:"That's still going on? I gave Hezimikkinen the strictest instructions!"
Me:"Unfortunately there is a Duke in zir way. A strong Duke."
Eitharheinen:"We shall see about that."
I do hope that ~mother~'s not planning anything treasonous and doomful.
Eitharheinen:"In the meantime, what did you mean by all these spells? Are they all for adventuring?"
Me:"Well, Change the Awful Sentence could probably save my life if I say the wrong thing to the nendrai..."
Eitharheinen:"That's the one you can't cast, right?"
Me:"Well, not yet."
Eitharheinen:"Why'd you get it then?"
Me:"I can graft it now, and I'd like to have it as soon as I can cast it."
Eitharheinen:"Well ... I suppose that makes some sense. It seems like a reasonable thing, if you must talk to that disgusting beast."
Me:"She's not disgusting. Miserable and overpowered, maybe."
Eitharheinen:"Don't you go ambassadorial at me, young lizard!"
Me:"... sorry ... "
Eitharheinen:"and this Speak to the Tree spell? Are you going to be ambassador to a helletumug infestation soon, too?"
Me:"Um ... I ... don't know why I picked that one."
Which caused another explosion, at which I defended myself like Barxolo at the battle of Oorah Nirax. (Grand General Barxolo was injured eleven times during the course of the battle. Six times by himself in his own clumsiness, and five times by his assistants in their clumsinesses. He managed not to participate in the battle at all. His forces, confused and dismayed by the lack of leadership, did just as badly as they did in all the other battles of that war.)
In the end, I am returning Speak to the Tree, Shrink the Road, Invisible Icicles, Ward that Evades (Me: "It's a defensive spell!" ~mother~: "You should be using The Quick Escape instead."), and Parlor of the Elegant Mage. And I'd be returning More Sleep in the Morning except I can't.
Vae:"Hiio, Sythyry! What's wrong?"
Me:"Hallo, Vae. Nothing's wrong."
Vae:"It's furious and a half you are for there to be nothing wrong!"
Getting sympathy from a monster about something my ~mother~ did is simply unconscionable.