Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Misplaced Sympathies [21 Oix 4261]

I am insufficiently versed in the etiquette of adultery. Ysgwyd sent me this. As far as I can tell, it's entirely sincere.

Dear poor sweet Sythers. Ysgwyd here -- I'm very sorry to hear that my husband dumped you! He's really very much of a jerk sometimes. Lots of times really. I sure wouldn't want to date him, and not just because he's so low on tentacles!

I'm sorry, I don't mean to discourage you if you really love him or anything. He does have some good features, a bunch of them really, and I imagine that if you're bothering to like Orren, he's a pretty good specimen of one. But he's not a very considerate man. I say this as an inveterate admirer of invertibrate shoggies. I know from inconsiderate, believe me!

I heard that he's gone back to pretending he's not traff, that he's boinking some disgusting Orren chippie and squiring her around in public. I know what that's like. My first real boyfriend left me for another Khtsoyis, and that hurt like getting my tail slammed in a door. By a Gormoror. But don't worry. Ilottat's so traff he can't take a bath -- the only way he'll get it up with her is by thinking about his times with you. And since you're the only game in town -- no way he's going to get in Hezimikkinen's lack-of-pants -- since you're the only game in town, I imagine he'll come crawling back to you and offering you half the branch for just one little fuck.

Sythers, he's just one little fuck, and there are plenty of better ones around. You can take him back if you want -- far be it from this Ilottat's wife to complain! -- but at least you should get a high price out of him. A really high price.

Sorry if I sound like a shoggy. I feel like a shoggy too ... I'm gonna go get Delframber in a minute.

Best wishes, Ysgwyd

Well, that "chippie" is Pondspark, and she's me.

Ysgwyd is so wrong, and so right, and so sympathetic, and so awful... I don't know what to do.

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