Sythyry's Delivery Service, part 3 [24 Chirreb 4261]
The Flattened Paper Boxes of Drenchnaow
I daresay that you were not aware that the best flattened paper boxes on the branch are, evidently, made in Drenchnaow. I, myself, was certainly ignorant of this crucial fact. Until today. Hopefully tomorrow I can go back to ignorant of it.
Not that there's anything wrong with Drenchnaow. It's a medium-sized mixed-species village on the other side of Vheshrame from Threeze. I don't know they actually do the best boxes, but they do make some boxes, and Flooooooooooooooooooooooooosh had helpfully ordered them printed up specially for us.
Me:"Vae? Could you be less alarming this time?"
Vae:"Of the course! What is it that could be less alarming?"
Me:"Um ... Orren girl, like the first time I met you?"
We tried to acquire a cart from Riverred or someone, but all of Threeze's carts were in use. Vae turned a mouse into a big cart, and a wicker basket into a Herethroy horse (six legs) to pull it. We went to Drenchnaow, had Herethroy load boxes of boxes into the cart, and headed for out of town for a bit of privacy in teleporting.
Me:"Wouldn't it have made more sense to turn the basket into the cart and the mouse into the horse?"
Vae:"It's more upset they'll each be at this one."
Me:"And that's a good thing?"
Vae:"Somewhat, why not? It's not sentient that either one is. You can't scold me for being cruel to a basket, can you?"
Me:"You're as bad as a Sleeth."
Upon which a purple Sleeth wearing a scarf poked his head out of a smithy.
Sleeth:"How bad is a Sleeth?"
Me:"The one I share a workbench every morning with will tease me about anything at all."
Sleeth:"You are the Sythyry Zi Ri, and you know the Rhedwy Sleeth."
Me:"You are the nosy Sleeth, and you know the Vheshrame gossip."
The Sleeth grinned a big grin full of weapons. "The truth! Are you making mystical artifacts for use against the nendrai? Come in! I have cruel jewelry for you to buy use!"
Me:"If anyone were making mystical artifacts for use against the nendrai, it probably wouldn't be a first-year Academy student." It took me a moment to realize my error. "Even one in zir second year."
Sleeth:"Come in to my master's shop! We can sell you the overpriced jewelry for your Orren girlfriend. For you, it is not overpriced."
Me:"She is not my girlfriend. I'd rather date a blossomary."
Sleeth:"Ah, the story here is that you do date the Orren. Come in to my master's shop! I can give you an extra 15% discount. You can introduce me to the Rhedwy Sleeth. When she is on heat!"
Me:"Rhedwy only boinks Herethroy." Which is not true, though she is less discriminating than she ought to be.
Sleeth:"Ah, not so, not so."
Me:"If you know so much about her, you can meet and seduce her on your own."
Sleeth:"Already I do meet and seduce her on my own!"
Me:"You do? I mean, you did?"
Sleeth:"Two years ago, by the silty muddy bank of the silty muddy Greystark, is when we [copulate enthusiastically]. I still have the scars, the here!" He whacked a patch of scratched fur on his flank with his tail.
Me:"So why do you need an introduction, if you've already seduced her once?"
Sleeth:"She does not ask my name the first time."
Me:"And you expect a second time?"
Sleeth:"When she is on heat!"
Me:"Well, I can't tell when she's on heat. I'm not a Sleeth."
Me:"She'd probably think it was me making the pass at her."
Sleeth:"This is no problem! There is enough [female genitalia] to share!"
Me:[To Vae]"Let us now depart in horror."
Vae poked the baskethorse, which pulled the mousecart full of boxes full of boxes into the woods.
Vae:"I did a good job that time! Not a bit did I scare anyone."
Me:"You did. That Sleeth did all the scaring all by himself."
Vae:"Why is that?"
Me:"I'll tell you later."
And, well, what should I tell Vae?
(Cameo for cattitude. Thanks for the hurricane relief donation, and, um, please don't kill me. -bb)