Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,

Assault on the Nendrai [21 Chirreb 4261]

A Sleeth, a Zi Ri, and a nendrai walk into a bar and ...

No, it's not the start of a a joke. There was a little problem in Threeze -- and by "little" I specifically mean "little" -- and Floosh and I had decided that Vae might as well be the one to solve it. Kaim-Su insisted that Seeks-No-Distant-Love come along, but she's still moping, so she required Rhedwy into coming with us instead. (I am unclear on exactly how that works.)

But Floosh didn't want Vae to go to Threeze. (For monsters reading: Threeze isn't a city, so it's not doorwaying for monsters to go there. But the residents don't generally encourage it.) So we had to meet Riverred at St. Andawhale's Tavern in St. Andawhale.

I have learned somewhat more how to appreciate Orren since I saw her last. It doesn't help. She's still dented-in and ugly. She still drips blood out of the corner of her left eye. She's still willful and determined. She put herself in charge of the cooking project when Floosh isn't around -- not the cooking, she can't do that, but the administration. Someone has to take her around to the farmers and such, 'cause she really can't travel on roads on her own. But the someone is Allu, who was named Chompramirthian when I was there last, and Allu wouldn't be much help in the kitchen.

(That sounds bad, but it's not. Allu is doesn't like cooking very much and isn't very good at it, is all.)

In any case, there are Orren -- even Orren whose hands have been many places on my body -- whom I do not find appealing. This may surprise many people, but it is quite true.

We didn't look nearly as alarming as we were. Vae looked like an Orren girl, because she does that sometimes for her own reasons and she does it reasonably well. I looked like an Orren girl, because I do that sometimes for my own reasons ... well, my boyfriend's own reasons ... and I do it reasonably well. Rhedwy looked like a Sleeth, so people were a touch scared anyways, but not as much as they would have been if they knew what Vae was.

Why We Had To Do This

The ovens in Threeze were too small for the amount of cooking that Floooooosh was going to have her family and assistants do there. For some reason, that tiny fishing village isn't really equipped to make luxury pastry breakfast boxes for all of Oorah Thrassen ... unaccountable, really.

The first thought was to make some makeshift ovens, probably by digging caves in a hillside and putting fires in them or something. Floosh didn't like that idea very much 'cause the heat might come out uneven without lots of Ruloc Pyrador, which is always messy.

Me:"But we have this really good Mutoc Locador specialist on the project already. Vae could probably make the ovens big enough to bake Oorah Thrassen, much less the cakes for it."

Flooosh:"I don't particularly want Vae in Threeze."

So we had Riverred bring bits of the oven to Vae, so that Vae could cast a slightly fancier spell on them from far away. Locador is good for that, if it's not going through city walls or something. It wasn't a hard thing to do, by Vae's standards. Someday, I imagine, I'll be good enough to cast that spell. Glikkonen might be able to spont it, for all I know, and surely zie could weave it or cast it.

The Aftermath

And that was that, as far as the oven was concerned. We spent more time getting there (two-thirds of an hour from my door to the Halflight Gate to meet Vae, a ninth of an hour arranging disguises, a ninth of an hour having The Conversation (I lost count at 28, some time ago) in advance so I wouldn't have to do it while I was there, one tailtap to take us to St. Andawhale) than we did fixing the oven (a third of an hour to chat with Riverred, five tailtaps to deal with the five ovens).

Of course, everyone in St. Andawhale noticed five huge Locador spells being cast in quick succession in the room. Everyone (who were a dozen or so elderly retired Rassimel and Herethroy countryfolk) turned and stared at us.

Rhedwy peered back at the everyone with that hideous blank Sleeth expression, and remarked in a loud voice, "This is the good plan. I cannot eat the whole body of the whole victim, even if I am very hungry. The remains can be remained in a pocket universe, for nobody to find ever."

People stopped looking at us, at least. Most of them left the room over the next ninth of an hour.

Me:"We shall have to tip very well."

Rhedwy:"Why? They leave of their own choice. We do not threaten them!"

Vae:"What do you mean, Sythyry? 'Tip' means 'tilt', more or less, doesn't it?" [In the original: "'Tip' means 'scoop', more or less, doesn't it?" -bb]

Me:"'Tip' means 'chflekcy'" Which it does, not that I really like knowing it.

Vae:"Oh! Certainly!"


Me:"She taught me another language, by brute force." I had to explain the story.

Riverred looked suitably horrified, which I suppose is good. She assaulted Vae, which I suppose is not so good. Here is a schematic diagram of the assault:

Riverred's Assault Vae's Counter
How dare you? I didn't know it was going to be a bad thing.
But ... mind magic! There's no other way to learn a language.
You could have just translated! I didn't think of that.
You're not very smart, are you? I don't know ... probably not.
You don't know the first thing about living in decent society. Sythyry's trying to teach me though ... it's not going very well.
Primes are destined to control the whole Tree I can't even control half my own mind.
You really shouldn't be here. I probably shouldn't be anywhere.

At which point I found it necessary to rescue the poor nendrai. (No, I didn't think I'd ever say that.) She looked like she was about to start crying, and I didn't want to pay for a bloodied-up tablecloth (Riverred just drips on her fur, and wipes her face every once in a while) or drive off the remaining patrons.

Rhedwy, of course, was smirking. A lot.

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