Self-Praise, Drought of Doom, and Other Failed Vices [1 Chirreb 4261]
I have managed to keep this journal for a year, as of today. I've written about two hundred thousand words in it, even -- not counting chatting with monsters, extradimensional horrors, aliens, and Esory.
After doing that calculation yesterday afternoon, I felt that the situation called for pren brandy. Not necessarily all the way to unconsciousness, like that last time, but enough. My favorite bartender (Ilottat) was still in class, but Ghirbis was at home, perched on the back of the big couch in the Arena of Massacres and Spectacles of Blood.
Me:"Ghirbis? Could you pour me a small chalice of the cheap pren brandy?" I got a rather large bottle of the cheap pren brandy -- I do, in fact, weigh more than the bottle of brandy, but not by that much.
Ghirbis:[singing]"Za! The resplendent Zi Ri, mighty in zir political connections, celebrates with many a room-spinning drunkenness while lesser folk must struggle with their examinations!"
She poured the brandy anyways, and handed me the chalice. The brandy quite elegantly spilled up and over my head and down behind my tail.
I flew over to investigate the puddle. It splashed around my left side and repuddled itself on the carpet.
Me:"That, too, is odd."
Ghirbis:[not singing]"Sythyry? What in Accanax' name are you wearing of a spell?"
I looked. Vae had sort of wadded the space-distortion umbrella spell tightly around me. I stalked up on the puddle, which splashed down through the floor and up to the floor behind me, following the wrinkled curves of the umbrella.
Me:"I suppose Vaisessasilmin is worried that I'm drinking too much brandy these days, and has prevented me from having more."
Ghirbis:"Well, she's right about that."
Me:"Your loyalty is heavily noted. I shall
tell your great-to-the-seven-and-twelfth-grandchil
We investigated further. The umbrella spell shielded me from cheap pren brandy, water, soup, Skullmurmur wine, milk, melted butter, vinegar, and ink. Ghirbis forbade me to try with the Oskameeska or anything more expensive.
Me:"Now I am worried."
Ghirbis:"Afraid of sobriety?"
Me:"Afraid of dying of thirst."
Ghirbis:"Oh. Right. Dying of thirst. How long can a Zi Ri go without drinking?"
Me:"A day? A day and a half, if I don't sleep on a fire, maybe. We're not very big people. We don't carry lots of water in our bodies."
Ghirbis:"Can you call Vae and have her take the spell off?"
Me:"Strenata knows where she lives... I know where Strenata lives."
Ghirbis:"We'd better go then."
We had gotten almost out of the parlor when Ghirbis saved my life.
Ghirbis:"Don't you have that water-creating talisman you made in your class?"
Me:"Ghirbis, you have saved my life."
The talisman worked fine, of course. Liquids can't come towards me through an irregular blobby boundary that is some 3-5 feet from my head. I can, however, fill an empty tub with water from a talisman, or a spell, and drink as much as I want, as long as it's not very far away from me.
I think I drank a pint of water in two minutes. Which isn't a lot for a Cani or a Gormoror, but left me visibly bulging.
And, since I don't need cley for enchantment classes at the moment, I can conjure water several times a day. Good. Vae still gets The Conversation, but not with a corpse and a very upset pack of Zi Ri.
Ilottat also saved my life on this topic. He discovered that people could (1) teleport liquids to me across the boundary, or (2) hand me a closed bottle of anything, which the spell wouldn't think was rain. (2) we discovered by a delightful serendipity; I was sitting on his cabinet, next to a bottle of after-swim fur oil, and he noticed that the oil was still in the bottle.
And Iska mentioned that I could have gotten enough liquid to survive by eating grapes and melons and cucumbers and suchlike juicy fruits and vegetables, which are available in great profusion on this first day of Autumn I.
OK, so I was never really going to die of thirst.
It was still pretty terrifying, that Vae could do something which I thought might kill me, casually, while trying to be helpful.
I'm going to have to have The Conversation with her, very hard, and make it stick.
Vae is (in alphabetical order):
Vae is best described as(in alphabetical order):