How To Chat Up A Huge Monster [18 Lage 4261]
Me:"Why do you take Orren form, Vae?"I had some vague idea that (1) I should be friendly, as a convenient alternative to being doomed, and (2) taking her mind off her various pains would be conducive to (1), and (3) asking questions that showed an interest in her condition would be a generally friendly thing to do.
Vae:"Oh, for the tail of it. Longer and more flexible than the tail of any other common prime." Which certainly makes sense for a nendrai.
I made some incoherent remarks admiring Orren in general and her choice in particular. I was not flirting. Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution just smirked a bit. I was not flirting. I was friendlying for my life.
So of course she turned into a terrible monster. Half again as tall as a Gormoror, and heavy, and lizardly, and with a long long long long long long long long long flickery tail, and the illusion blob spell stretched and flexed around her. Her scales are dull grey-green. Her face is downright ugly. "Better than this," she said.
I'm sure I said something polite. She didn't harm me, at least.
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Vae? Your left hind claw is menacing that fine baron's fine poodle."
Vae:"Oh, cakh the bath!" I don't know what that means.
She turned back into her Orren shape.
Vae:"There's a gladness on me that you left the city, Seeks, and I could find you again."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"I was going to visit in three or four days, once the Duke and all decided what to ask you. Did you not get the letter?"
Vae:"I got it, to be sure, but I was to fretful to wait for you."
The waiter brought us some very lightly grilled busky with a delicate sauce of brandy and cream, and an indelicate sauce of honey and pureed chili flowers. Vae gasped in pleasure.
Me:"No wonder you like Orren shape, if you enjoy fish so much!"
Vae bit her arm again, quite angrily. If I ever, for some reason, need to cut off an Orren in mid-orgasm, an armbite that draws blood seems just the thing.
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Sythyry, that's not it. Nendrai, well, like getting things from primes. A lot."
Vae nodded, her arm's blood dripping out of the corners of her mouth. Quite grimly. "It's awful."
Me:"I'm sorry, Vae. I didn't really know." I'm still not exactly sure I completely understand.
Vae:"In case the thought's on you that giving me something could be a distraction for some act of bloodshed and wickedness, it is no such thing."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Gnarn doesn't want you to have any particular weak spots, after all."
Vae scowled at the mention of her creator god. "Gnarn wants me here, no weak spots and all."
Me:"How is that?" Questions seemed pretty safe.
Vae:"It's very territorial I am. A sensible nendrai would go somewhere else, somewhere that isn't one of the mighty cities of Ketheria. I can't bear to give up the territory I picked, or the friends I made, though."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"She showed up a bit over a year ago. We'd tried to arrange a quiet life for her, but that broke."
Me:"Oh, dear. This is whatever happened to Greenspikes?" The timing is a bit convenient, that it broke just after Yylhauntra the nendrai-hater left.
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Sythyry, you really should read broadsheets occasionally. Three caravan guards got into a fight with a couple Herethroy, including Greenspikes, just when Vae was having tea with them."
Vae said, "Their heads I turned backwards, their fingers became snakes to nip them a bit, their fur I turned to tiny ivory fishhooks, their blood I ran with a dash of vinegar for a minute, and into the river I teleported them."
All the clauses I turned inside-out. "Oh. That sounds rather painful."
Vae nodded. "I do not permit injury to my friends, when I can stop it. If the need for fearing me is on you, or any prime, fear me for that." She tapped two empty saucers and a napkin with her tail, and they became three crabs made of flame and spinning wheels of lightning, and danced a hey around the table.
(The obligatory bogglement: Ordinarily when one constructs elementals by relatively simple spells -- which are not so simple! -- they do not cooperate. Only quite advanced spells can make ones that cooperate. I was sure I would get used to her using ridiculous magic by the end of the meal, though.)
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution nodded. "Nor do we generally suffer our citizens to be beaten, especially by foreigners."
Vae:"Well, I was there, and the powers of Vheshrame were not."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Well, I'm not here to thump you with justice for that. But our custom on that is part of the problem, y'see. This may be your territory in nendrai standards, but by Vheshrame standards you're a bit of a foreigner too. And one of those guards wasn't."
Vae:"What are you here for?"
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"I'm here for fish and riding with Sythyry. Though I rarely refuse conversation with friends I happen to meet on the road."
Vae:"Or horrors who spread a gwyliadiant to watch for you."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Ah. I wondered a bit how you came to teleport suddenly to one of the least safe places in Vheshrame for you."
Vae:"I know. I'm sure I could get away if I need to, though. And I didn't want to wait to see you. I want another peace treaty. An easier one to keep than the last one."
Seeks-A-Peaceful-Solution:"Well, this time the actual treaty will have to wait a day or so. I am not a plenipotentiary negotiator when I'm just out for a ride with a friend! But I daresay the Duke and zir half-sibling will pay attention to whatever we suggest."
I knew she wasn't telling me everything, when we were dating. But she seems to have neglected to mention some rather impressive stories.