The Restoration of Trest (Day 1140)
Tarcuna set down the newspaper, getting the corner of it into her curried eggs. “Hey, Spotty, are you the Forces of Good, or the Forces of Evil?”
I put the curried sheep I was nibbling down onto the mat of fresh alatrobius leaves which our Damman servants had served it on. “I don’t think that any sane hoven would call me Forces of Good.”
«Can I vote for “Forces of Sexually Available?”» scribbled Nrararn.
«I will be a good fiancée to you after Tarcuna finishes with the current newspaperial assault. And after breakfast,» I wrote. I need to learn how to appreciate his devotion.
Tarcuna giggled. “You’re calling me insane, aren’t you? But actually the Magic Horn of Perstra has gone insane too.”
“They actually said something nice about me? That wasn’t written in terror of their draconic master and half-full of subtle insults, I mean.”
Tarcuna waggled a hand. “Well, they didn’t go so far as to mention your name, or even that you were on the same continent. They’re not that mad. But you do seem to be allied with Bmern and Drukah today. Listen to this.”
The brave and selfless efforts of RARU have come to fruition! The dragons more cowardly and venal than anyone could have expected! Anyone, that is, save those who listened to the celestial music of Bmern and Drukah, who promise peace and consularity and freedom for all who truly follow them!
Today, at noon, the brave heroes and martyrs of RARU finally threw off the wicked yoke of the dragons! Nearly all of Trest is free of the horrible beasts! They are now confined to the district of Perstra — alas for our fair capitol! Yet, rejoice for the rest of the federation! Rejoice for the consular government restored! Rejoice for the strength of will and majesty of character of our heroes of RARU! Rejoice in those whom the Forces of Good have moved to counteract the Forces of Evil!
Even at the cost of their own lives! As their last act of official vileness for the nation as a whole, when Ythac and Llredh had resigned from the bulk of their usurpations, they chose to end as they had begun. Three of the brave members of RARU died in the monsters’ jaws! Their blood shall be the last hoven blood that the beasts taste! — Assuming that they have sufficient decency to keep their word. We shall have to keep many, many close eyes upon them! And if they renege, the full weight of the Limp Rebellion and the divinely fortified wrath of RARU shall fall upon them once again!
“We do seem to be moved by the Forces of Good. Of course, so were Ythac and Llredh, by the end,” I had to agree.
“The Magic Horn didn’t actually mention us, though,” said Tarcuna. “Didn’t mention Pickle-or-Pie, either, or tell all that much of the story.”
“They really should, you know,” said Nrararn. “As a tactical move. They didn’t win by waving their so-called divine goodness around, and the Limp Rebellion would never have worked on its own either. The important thing was, Ythac — and nearly any dragon — will keep his word and honor his wagers.
“And because Ythac is a good and Uplifty ruler,” added Tarcuna. “Which, is what got him to make the wager in the first place … that plus the Limp Rebellion. I’m going to count this as a Hoven victory, with help from you two and Ythac.”
“Whose side are you on, anyhow, Tarcuna?” I asked, not that seriously.
“Yours of course. It’s still your victory, right? You like hovens, don’t you?”
“I seem to. If they keep in their places,” I said. Which got me thumped about the head with the dragon-taming staff.