Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: Diet Poll

Let's test your dieting smartses!

Which of these foods should you never, ever eat?

plutonium pops
8(50.0%)
arsenic bars
1(6.2%)
cyanide nibbles
3(18.8%)
salmonella squares
4(25.0%)
bismuth burgers
0(0.0%)

Which of these tasty treats leads to the most efficient weight loss?

Labrador retrievers
2(12.5%)
French poodles
2(12.5%)
bloodhounds
1(6.2%)
wolves
9(56.2%)
pinschers
2(12.5%)

Which of these packs in the most hidden or empty calories?

+2 Apple of Protection from Fire
2(13.3%)
+2 Banana of Undead Disintegration
2(13.3%)
+2 Orange of Flight
1(6.7%)
+2 Ham Sandwich of Weight Loss
6(40.0%)
+2 Peach of Lightning
4(26.7%)

Which of these diet foods makes the best between-meal snack?

Gin martini
4(25.0%)
Ding-Dong
1(6.2%)
Oral Sex
8(50.0%)
Parakeet on Toast
2(12.5%)
Selenium Diodes
1(6.2%)

Which of these supposedly good diet foods will wreck your weight-loss plan with even a single bite?

Celery
1(6.2%)
Diet water
4(25.0%)
A good book
9(56.2%)
Calorie-reduced mustard
2(12.5%)
Lite parsley
0(0.0%)

Which one of these is a little-known boon to dieters everywhere?

Narcolepsy
2(12.5%)
Hearing Loss
0(0.0%)
Paranormal Fantasies
5(31.2%)
Machine Guns
3(18.8%)
Symphonic Music
6(37.5%)
  1. Bismuth burgers — like any other sort of burger — are just begging you to pour on the cheese, germanium, mayo, catsup, tourmalines, and all those other yummy high-calorie condiments. To say nothing of the bun! Avoid avoid avoid!
  2. French poodles, as the smallest of these tasty treats, will encourage you to lose weight effectively.
  3. Undead Disintegration devices frequently are packed with holy wafers and wine — consecrated calories that your weight loss program simply cannot afford!
  4. Ding-dong! If you ring bells for an hour before every snack, you'll lose weight and build up those sightly arm muscles!
  5. A single bite of that evil herb celery will induce in you such a sense of misery and shame that you will be compelled to eat a large box of donuts to make up for it. Do Not Celery!
  6. A prompt application of machine gunnery to each entree that you are about to eat is the best way to diet and celebrate your 2nd Amendment rights! If you're American, that is.
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