Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: Sex and Magnets

http://www.ibtimes.com/homosexuality-unnatural-claims-nigerian-student-who-uses-magnets-prove-gay-marriage-wrong-1406352

Magnetic attraction is *just* like human attraction. Now, let us assume he does not mean that a human is like a magnet, because that would imply that every human has one end that attracts one sex and the other end attracts the other sex, or something like that.

The only way this makes sense is if humans are like monopoles: say men are like the north poles, women like the south. That way men don't attract men, women don't attract women. But the research should not end there! Consider the following well-known facts about gendered people and magnetic monopoles:

* Magnetic attraction decreases quadratically with distance — JUST LIKE SEXUAL ATTRACTION! Long-distance relationships are impossible!

* Magnets are attracted most strongly to the nearest opposite-polarity magnet in the area. JUST THE SAME WAY HUMANS ALWAYS MATE WITH THE NEAREST OPPOSITE-SEX HUMAN!

* Magnets reproduce in a few ways, and humans reproduce in just the same ways, like these:

a - Cut a magnetic monopole in half to make two weaker (but perfect) monopoles — JUST LIKE HUMANS!

b - Rub a magnet against a suitable non-magnetic object to turn it into a magnet — JUST THE WAY YOU CAN RUB A GENDERED HUMAN AGAINST A NEUTERED ONE TO GENDERIZE IT!

c - Electric currents generate magnetic fields without any body — JUST THE WAY THAT THEY GENERATE SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE WITHOUT BODIES! [It's Internet porn, folks.]

* Magnetic monopoles have never been observed, discovered, created, or known to exist — JUST LIKE HETEROSEXUAL MEN AND WOMEN! All humans known to exist or ever have existed, have one end that attracts and is attracted to males, and another that attracts and is attracted to females. Indeed, there is only one gender of human, corresponding to a real magnet (which always has two poles.)

So this is completely 100% science that nobody thought of before and everybody must now believe because science and magnets and Nobel prize.
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