Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: dating advice poll

Your male friend Ben is considering going on a date with a woman seven years older than himself. Your advice is:

That's too big an age gap for a serious relationship
0(0.0%)
Bring pepper spray in case she tries to put the moves on you
1(3.6%)
Distract her with your mastery of Japanese kanji, then slip off in a hurry
2(7.1%)
Make sure you're up to date on the classics of Western literature and philosophy!
19(67.9%)
Vodka is your friend.
6(21.4%)

Next, your male friend Ben is considering going on a date with a woman seventy years older than himself. Your advice is:

That's too big an age gap for a serious relationship
8(28.6%)
Bring grenades in case she tries to put the moves on you
1(3.6%)
Distract her with your mastery of Japanese kanji, then slip off in a hurry
2(7.1%)
Make sure you're up to date on the classics of Western literature and philosophy!
11(39.3%)
Vodka is your friend.
6(21.4%)

Finally, your male friend Ben is considering going on a date with a woman seven hundred years older than himself. Your advice is:

That's too big an age gap for a serious relationship
2(7.1%)
Bring holy water in case she tries to put the moves on you
17(60.7%)
Distract her with your mastery of Japanese kanji, then slip off in a hurry
1(3.6%)
Make sure you're up to date on the classics of Western literature and philosophy!
6(21.4%)
Vodka is your friend.
2(7.1%)

Ben is considering inviting Igor out for tea and scromping. You secretly pray to Rhadamanthus that Igor is …

The same age as Ben
5(17.9%)
Actually a girl, at least at the moment
2(7.1%)
Gay
8(28.6%)
Ukranian rather than actually Russian
2(7.1%)
Rich
11(39.3%)

Ben, who seems not to be enjoying much success so far, asks you which of these people he should date next:

Dr. Mohammed Hemphill, a marijuana-prescribing doctor
4(14.3%)
Mister Shatterproof, an invulnerable superhero.
1(3.6%)
Eliphas Levy, an important figure in the Western magical tradition
9(32.1%)
Miss Indigo Bunting, who is a bit of a shrinking violet but at least female
5(17.9%)
Guillermo-Winifred Provenzano, a serious Euro-mongrel with one Spanish, one German, and one Italian parent.
9(32.1%)

Which of these advices is worst?

The only part of your date that should matter to you is the genitalia
6(21.4%)
The goal of dating is to get the most laid for the least money
2(7.1%)
If you can't get laid, at least get drunk and/or stoned.
0(0.0%)
Every member of the appropriate sex(es) must submit carnally to you, or you are entirely failsome!
14(50.0%)
Under no circumstances should your romantic adventures include activities which would upset anyone else even slightly if they heard about them.
6(21.4%)

Back to Ben! Ben has given up on dating humans. What's his next step?

robots
11(40.7%)
ghosts
1(3.7%)
succubi
6(22.2%)
kangaroos
4(14.8%)
honeydew melons
5(18.5%)

Ben has failed at even the next step. How do you console him?

Proclaim "There are more fish in the sea — Yes! Try a fish!"
8(28.6%)
A copy of 'A Beginner's Guide to Masturbation'
11(39.3%)
A supply of saltpeter and other anti-aphrodesiacs
1(3.6%)
A do-it-yourself castration kit
0(0.0%)
Date him yourself
8(28.6%)
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