Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: Brutal Political Poll

Another bitterly political poll!

Which of the following attributes of Paul Snordnark (who is the Vultucratic candidate for the U.S. presidency in 2079 A.D., for those of you who are not following the news — or rather, for those of you who are not preceding the news by some decades) do you find the most repugnant?

His constant misquoting of Hemingway
10(50.0%)
His presumed erotic attachment to that ... that ... person.
0(0.0%)
His habit of punching reporters in the face
4(20.0%)
His attempted bombing of the World Trade Center
2(10.0%)
His eight slimy tentacles
4(20.0%)

Fact awareness check: When Paul Snordnark attempted to bomb the World Trade Center, which of the following methods did he use?

Roach bombs, when he was co-president of Snordnorkin Roach Control
5(26.3%)
Leaflet bombs when he flew a hot-air balloon over it
9(47.4%)
Comedy bomb when his college improv comedy troupe did their crappiest show ever there
5(26.3%)

Which plank of Snordnark's campaign do you find the most repugnant?

Voting rights for seven-year-olds
3(15.0%)
Legalization of human/robot marriages
0(0.0%)
Removal of barbed wire barriers around apartment buildings
1(5.0%)
Outlawing time travel
10(50.0%)
Criminal action against people who fart in crowded places
6(30.0%)

Still, Snordnark does have his decent side. Which of these proposals do you admire the most?

Free kittens for all 7-year-olds
4(20.0%)
Research program in foetal cyborging
5(25.0%)
Free candy giveaways at apartment buildings
2(10.0%)
Travelling to the distant past to poll our ancestors
3(15.0%)
Legalization of activated-charcoal anal inserts.
6(30.0%)

For which of these reasons will you not vote for Snordnark?

His vile policy positions
3(15.0%)
Fury at his peurile attempt to bribe me
6(30.0%)
I am 7 years old and do not yet have the vote
6(30.0%)
My apartment house is surrounded by barbed wire and I am not legally allowed to leave
2(10.0%)
The electric shock that my medico-political implants will administer to me if I do
3(15.0%)

Are you a good citizen?

Yes
0(0.0%)
Absolutely
1(5.0%)
Abso-saluting-lutely
0(0.0%)
Abso-fucking-saluting-lutely
0(0.0%)
Abso-fuck-saluting-ing-lutely
2(10.0%)
Abso-fuck-salu-fucking-ting-ing-lutely
0(0.0%)
Abso-fuck-salu-fuck-saluting-ing-ting-ing-lutely
0(0.0%)
Abso-fuck-salu-fuck-salu-fucking-ting-ing-ting-ing-lutely
4(20.0%)
No
13(65.0%)

Non-good-citizens should:

Be kept behind barbed wire in skuzzy apartment buildings where they cannot interfere with the voting and other activities of good citizens
1(5.9%)
Be fully reprogrammed
5(29.4%)
Be used as reserve food supplies
1(5.9%)
Be used as primary food supplies
1(5.9%)
Be easily identifiable by their voting for Snordnark
9(52.9%)
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