Sythyry (sythyry) wrote,
Sythyry
sythyry

OOC: election poll

Now let's dive into the sinking, stinking realm of the bitterly political!

Your candidate is:

A paragon of virtue
1(4.3%)
A mountain of strength
0(0.0%)
A placemat of excellence
4(17.4%)
An applecart of adequacy
13(56.5%)
A handbag of destiny
2(8.7%)
A palace of kindness
3(13.0%)

The opposing candidate is:

An idol of ignorance
2(8.7%)
An opossom of opposition
4(17.4%)
A monster of meanness
3(13.0%)
A stewpot of stupidity
5(21.7%)
A grail of greed
7(30.4%)
A trout of treason
2(8.7%)

If your candidate is elected:

prosperity will pop up
4(16.7%)
justice will jump around
1(4.2%)
fairness will flower
5(20.8%)
situations will stay similar
14(58.3%)
tradition will triumph
0(0.0%)
the enemies of our nation will eat their 'nads
0(0.0%)

If the opposing candidate is elected:

wickedness will win
3(12.5%)
situations will stay similar
5(20.8%)
stupidity succeeds supreme
8(33.3%)
traditions is in trouble
1(4.2%)
morality will be moribund
1(4.2%)
doom will dance in delight
6(25.0%)

Your candidate's positions are:

Right in every respect
2(8.3%)
Too much of a good thing
3(12.5%)
The lesser of two evils
14(58.3%)
A bird in the hand worth two in the bush
5(20.8%)

The opposing candidate's positions are:

Just like the Anti-Deity's, only nastier
2(3.3%)
Ridiculous and misguided
10(16.4%)
Good only for those who do not deserve good things
6(9.8%)
Unfortunate
10(16.4%)
Written entirely by the candidate's secret evil masters
10(16.4%)
STOOOOPID
9(14.8%)
Doing the wrong thing for the current situation
14(23.0%)

The only reason someone would vote for the opposing candidate is:

STOOOOOOPIDITY
2(8.3%)
Fanatical devotion to the wrong thing
4(16.7%)
Hidebound traditionality
0(0.0%)
Radical radicalism
0(0.0%)
A reasoning process starting from axioms other than those I consider most important
8(33.3%)
Being blinded by the candidate's insidious charisma
0(0.0%)
Orbital mind control lasers
4(16.7%)
Being swayed by the media and massive advertising
6(25.0%)

The opposing candidate:

farts deadly poison fumes
2(8.3%)
has some bad habits
10(41.7%)
dines on fresh kitten brains
7(29.2%)
worships a secret altar of Hitler-Satan
3(12.5%)
rolls around in ferret feces for fun
2(8.3%)

The opposing candidate:

Was really born in Hell
1(4.3%)
Was raised by evil space llamas
8(34.8%)
Is a 666-year-old vampire (sparkly)
6(26.1%)
Kicks puppies to death for fun
8(34.8%)

The best thing about the opposing candidate is:

The stupid hair style
4(17.4%)
The hideous pigmentation
0(0.0%)
The noxious taste in garments
3(13.0%)
The horrid and gender-inappropriate spouse
1(4.3%)
The oily mock-sincerity
15(65.2%)

The opposing candidate should be rejected because

he offends me.
11(23.9%)
he might win otherwise
15(32.6%)
he might eat my share of french fries otherwise.
13(28.3%)
it would be so cool.
7(15.2%)

Political rhetoric has gotten

slightly out of hand
3(12.5%)
about the same as it ever was
4(16.7%)
a big infusion of cash
9(37.5%)
into the hands of extremists
8(33.3%)
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